Joke of the Day

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure,

When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,

When you drink whisky over ice, it can give you heart problems,

When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

So, apparently, ice is really bad for you.

Warn all your friends!

Attribution: Mom

NFL Update

Wild week in the NFL. The Pack are still the top dogs in the league. Philly loses to the G-Men whose defense came up big. Do the Eagles have any Quarterbacks left? Houston shows it just can’t hang with the big boys as they lose to the Saints. Detroit fans have to be going nuts after their latest win of the pitiful Vikings. Minnesota just can’t finish a game. What the heck is going on with the Falcons? The Bucs aren’t a bad team but Atlanta should be better than that. Tampa Bay’s defense looked tough. The Jets lose to the Raiders. YEA!! McFadden’s the man, at least this week. Hopefully not next week. Parody in league anyone?

Finally, the Patriots. My Patriots. What the ……? Ok, the Bills look pretty good this year, but come on. Brady throws 4 INT’s & we still almost win. I don’t want to seem like a whiner, but the officiating was horrible & Chad Ocho-Stinko sucks. If Welker goes down, we’re toast.

Now I’m going to vent about the ever-evolving safety rules. Let’s just put a red shirt on the Quarterbacks so no one can touch them. Better yet, the league needs a new name. I propose the NFFL, the National Flag Football League. That way nobody gets hurt. Football is a violent game. Everyone that has ever played the game knows this. Heck, just watching some of the hits make me cringe. It seems to me the more safety procedures are instituted, the more the injuries mount. Limiting hits so the players don’t even know how to tackle anymore. Limiting the full pad practices. All the little ticky tac penalties. Anyone wondering why the offenses are putting up the insane yardages they are? The defenses are afraid to do anything to prevent it for fear of a penalty. If the league won’t let defensemen play the game without thinking about every hit, as well as limiting full contact practices, the injuries will continue to mount.

Joke nan Jou a

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the coast road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.

“There ain’t no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle jumped to 90, then 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him. “What in heck am I doing?” he thought. Coming to his senses, he pulled over.

The Officer approached his car, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before you can go.”

“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”

“Have a nice night”, said the officer.

Give a Little, Take a Little

Gov. Rick Scott

I received an email recently entitled, “Hooray for Florida”. I like Florida so I read it. It was about a law Governor Rick Scott signed regarding welfare reform. That sounded great so I read on. The email says that welfare recipients must have a drug test to receive benefits. Well, this just keeps getting better. Hooray indeed. Let’s just say I’m a skeptic. I decided to look further into the story. Much to my surprise, NOT, it’s not what it appears. With politicians, it never is. Here’s the real story.

Various articles explain basically the same thing such as, “The controversial new law has sparked national debate and is already the subject of a lawsuit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union.” What a shocker, eh? “The group deems the tests unconstitutional for violating the random search and seizure clause. Supporters, including Gov. Rick Scott, say the tests prevent taxpayer money from funding drug habits, but critics say the law unfairly stereotypes the poor.” Howard Simon, Executive Director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida, said in a statement, “The wasteful program created by this law subjects Floridians who are impacted by the economic downturn, as well as their families, to a humiliating search of their urine and body fluids without cause or even suspicion of drug abuse.”

So far, this is pretty decent. The ACLU is upset. That’s a plus. Let’s take a crack at the ACLU & other libs’ claims. First off, the tests aren’t random. Everyone who wants welfare gets tested. It’s also completely optional. If you don’t wish to be tested, don’t apply for welfare. Second, no, it stereotypes the poor quite fairly. As Ben Franklin said, “I am for doing good to the poor, but I differ in opinion of the means. I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it.” As for the ACLU statement, really, humiliating search of bodily fluids? That’s the best they can do? I think they take the fluids out first.

The articles go on to explain, “Those who test positive for drugs are ineligible for one year (or six months if they pass a drug course) for the temporary cash assistance. If they fail a second time, they are ineligible for three years. Ok, wait. Temporary cash assistance? I knew this was too good to be true. This isn’t welfare as a whole. This is just a small slice of the overall welfare program. It gets better, or worse, depending on your point of view. “A third-party designated by the family can then sign up for the funds so the money is still passed onto the children. But that person also must be drug tested and fill out lengthy paperwork, which can delay a family from getting money for 30-60 days,” So, it’s a crock. It sounds good, but as usual, isn’t. It’s like an alcoholic with a designated driver. He’s still an alcoholic. Designated by the family? You mean the family whose members just failed the drug test? Who makes sure the money gets to the children?

A good point was unexpectedly made. “Is there any interest in finding if money by these applicants is being diverted to alcohol abuse, which can be far more destructive and certainly expensive, in terms of money being diverted from their dependents?” asked Rep. Steve Perman, D-Boca Raton. Wow! I agree with a democrat.

I realize this law can be looked at as a step forward or in the right direction, but if they’re going to do this, they have to know the left & the press, no matter what, will hammer them. Knowing that, they must go for everything. Not just a little slice.

Maybe it’s me. Maybe I can’t be satisfied but I am just sick & tired of half measures & loopholes. Today, more than ever, we need to take some dynamite to the granite sentinels of liberalism, not just chips off the edges. A good start is no longer good enough. Time is no longer on our side.

Joke of the Day


A Republican, in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one
afternoon, and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican
looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?” The waitress nodded “yes,” so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched
back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the
waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and
asked, “is that Jesus over there?” The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, “my treat.”

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat
on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “hey there honey! How’s about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?” He too looked across the Restaurant and asked, “isn’t that God’s boy over there? The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. “On my bill,” he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Republican felt the strength come Back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.”

The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, “don’t touch me!! I’m collecting disability.”

Attribution: Greg, et al

Will the Real Palestinians Please Stand Up?

Ambassador Abdullah Abdullah

So I’m reading an article in the Daily Star of Lebanon. What, did you let your subscription lapse again? It was an update on the Palestinian statehood saga. The article was centered around the Palestine Ambassador to Lebanon, Abdullah Abdullah, describing how their now famous refugees will not be citizens of the proposed state of Palestine.

What a great name; Abdullah Abdullah. I wonder if Madonna’s last name is Madonna & she just dropped it.

Anyway, my first reaction was disbelief. After all this pushing & posturing to achieve the dream state, they wouldn’t allow their own people to become citizens?

The article explains; The ambassador unequivocally says that Palestinian refugees would not become citizens of the sought for U.N.-recognized Palestinian state, an issue that has been much discussed. “They are Palestinians, that’s their identity,” he says. “But … they are not automatically citizens.” This would not only apply to refugees in countries such as Lebanon, Egypt, Syria and Jordan or the other 132 countries where Abdullah says Palestinians reside. Abdullah said that “even Palestinian refugees who are living in [refugee camps] inside the [Palestinian] state, they are still refugees. They will not be considered citizens.” Abdullah said that the new Palestinian state would “absolutely not” be issuing Palestinian passports to refugees.

My second thought was, how is this not front page news worldwide? What the heck is going on here? This nonsense has been going on for decades. How many have died in this conflict? Now no one finds this newsworthy?

Citizens in Waiting

So I read on. The light bulb went on when I read; “Neither this definitional status nor U.N. statehood”, Abdullah says, “would affect the eventual return of refugees to Palestine. How the issue of the right of return will be solved I don’t know, it’s too early [to say], but it is a sacred right that has to be dealt with and solved [with] the acceptance of all.” He says statehood “will never affect the right of return for Palestinian refugees.”

There it is. It’s like connect the dots. Maybe Palestinian citizenship would hinder the Right of Return. Abdullah knows or at least suspects if the refugees become Palestinian citizens, they give up their right of return to Israel.

What I and others who have followed this have always known, this is the end game for the radicals running this whole thing. It has been going on since 1948. The Moslems had a chance to save their Palestinian brethren back then but chose to try to wipe out Israel instead. The supposed movements leaders probably find refugees, rather than citizens, a more useful tool in realizing its ultimate goal of destroying Israel, as they can then demand “refugees” be resettled in Israel (as opposed to their own prospective territories), thereby creating a disproportionate and destructive demographic for the Jewish state.

They may have finally figured out they can’t defeat Israel militarily, so they’ll flood the country with refugees & bring it down economically.

Joke of the Day

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, “Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami.” She said, “We can’t do that!” I told her, “You did it last week!”

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”

“Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says, “Limp!”

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”

A bum told me, “I haven’t tasted food all week.” I told him, “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same!”

Just like Dear Old Dad

What exactly is our president? I don’t mean, is he an alien or other species. The jury may still be out on that one. And I mean, otherworldly alien, not birther alien. But seriously, how would one classify Obama?

For years now we’ve all (at least the one’s paying attention) heard that President Obama is a socialist. No, he’s a Marxist. He’s a communist. He’s a progressive; he’s a liberal. Well, what’s the answer? The answer is yes. What do mean yes? Yes to which one? My opinion is he is kind of all of the above, although that is painting with a very broad brush. If I were to narrow it down & pick one, I would classify him as something not mentioned thus far. Barack Obama is an anticolonialist. Some may have heard the term. Some may not.

Colonialism is one country’s control either directly or influentially over another. The Europeans were famous or infamous for their colonialism of Africa, the Middle East, Asia, the Caribbean, etc. Therefore anticolonialism is the resistance or abhorrence of that.

Obama gets his identity and his ideology from his father. Ironically, the man who was absent for virtually all of Obama’s life is precisely the one shaping his values and actions & his father, for good reason or not, was certainly an anticolonialist spending his formative years in British controlled Kenya.

The President’s own autobiography is titled, “Dreams from my Father”, not Dreams of my Father. Obama isn’t writing about his father’s dreams. He is writing about the dreams that he got from his father.

His grandmother Sarah Obama told Newsweek, “I look at him and I see all the same things — he has taken everything from his father . . . this son is realizing everything the father wanted.”

How about this: Consider the article “Problems Facing Our Socialism” that Barack Obama Sr. published in 1965 in the East Africa Journal. Writing in the aftermath of British colonialism, he advocated socialism as necessary to ensure national autonomy for his country. “The question,” he wrote, “is how are we going to remove the disparities in our country, such as the concentration of economic power in Asian and European hands . . .?”

It is based on the anticolonial assumption that the rich have become rich by exploiting and plundering the poor; therefore, whatever the rich have is undeserved and may be legitimately seized.

Thus his solution to Kenya’s problems sound all too familiar. “We need to eliminate power structures that have been built through excessive accumulation so that not only a few individuals shall control a vast magnitude of resources as is the case now.” He proposed that the state seize private land and turn it over to collective cooperatives. He demanded that the state raise taxes with no upper limit. He also stated in his 1965 paper: “There is no tax rate too high, and even a 100% rate is justified under certain circumstances.” Just in case the point is unclear, Obama Sr. insisted that “theoretically there is nothing that can stop the government from taxing 100 percent of income so long as the people get benefits from the government commensurate with their income which is taxed.”

So what, you say. That was his father. Could he possibly have that much influence on our beloved president?
President Obama writes, “It was into my father’s image, the black man, son of Africa, that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself.” “My father’s voice had nevertheless remained untainted, inspiring, rebuking, granting or withholding approval. You do not work hard enough, Barry. You must help in your people’s struggle. Wake up, black man!” It sounds as if the President wishes to channel his father.

His father hated the British. Is it coincidence that the President, upon moving into the White House, sent back the bust of Winston Churchill? The official line is that it was already removed. I don’t buy it for a second. Maybe it’s no surprise that Obama wouldn’t want Churchill watching over his shoulder. After all, it was Churchill who, in 1952, ordered a crackdown on the Mau Mau rebellion against British colonial rule in Kenya, Obama’s ancestral homeland.

After taking office the first official he called was Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas. What an odd choice. Or was it? What was that region called before the formation of Israel? Oh, that’s right, British Palestine.

Unless “The One” writes a tell all book about himself, we may never know if he is the second coming of his father, but I’m convinced he is.
If we give this man 4 more years, America may end up looking like post colonial Kenya.

Joke of the Day

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.”

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”