I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?”
I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
She said, “Yeah, I got a pen.”
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
Cost me six stitches … But, when you’re over seventy, who cares?