Joke of the Day (1)

Church Billboards. We’ve all seen them. They mean well, but are sometimes filled with errors-a-plenty. Here are some great examples.

 First installment 

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon
 tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

 Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of
 those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

 Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
 someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care
 much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

 Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.

Joke of the Day

Feel free to groan:

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Mozart’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”

He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.”

So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about.

It’s just Mozart decomposing.”