Tag Archives: Joke of the Day

A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.

“Are you sure”, the distraught woman asked? “He was a great family pet. Isn’t there anything else you can do?”

The vet paused for a moment and said, “There is one more thing we can do.” He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage. read more

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

“I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”

The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” read more

A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.”

The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She comes up to the guy and she says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

“Ten years!” he says. read more

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled throughout the flight. read more

Now I know what to say when I get ROBO calls: read more

As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I’ve learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel. read more

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how for Christmas this year he’d love to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, “Let’s do it! We’ll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early on Christmas morning.” read more

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer.

“If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer.

“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” read more

The man who is the world’s leading expert on wasps is walking through Droitwich one day when he passes an old vinyl record shop.

Looking in the window, an album catches his eye: “The Sounds of Wasps from Around the World”. He enters the store and asks the salesgirl if he can listen to the album. read more

The public have been wondering where our former President has been and what he’s been up to. read more