Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So…he told the junior priest that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “you’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”
The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin,
dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “why did you let him do that?”
The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”
PEACE BE WITH YOU…
A cowboy rode into Fort Benton, Montana and stopped at the Grand Union for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back inside, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss?” he yelled.
He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having been high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.
This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high, with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow smiling coyly back at him.
Finally, during one dance, he picked up courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”
A farmer in ancient Rome was working in the fields one day when he came across a giant strawberry, about five palmus wide and ten palmus high.
He thought this would be a novelty that many would want to see, so he took it home, washed it off and set up a display in a case.