Joke of the Day

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. “Any specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.

“Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours,” she replied. “Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?”

“Well,” the doctor answered, “Hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how much do you lose when it’s your time of the month?”

After calculating for a moment, the lady replied, “Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I imagine.”

Attribution: Fred

Joke of the Day

Jim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your golf clubs.” read more

Joke of the Day

There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing. His friend, the game warden, couldn’t figure out how he did it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with his friend.

The fisherman took his friend, the warden, out to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it and threw it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish floated to the top.

The game warden said, “That’s illegal … you can’t do that.” read more

Joke of the Day

Three Native American, Elite Reconnaissance Marines were out in the Afghani desert.

“I understand that you Native Americans have brought your own indigenous survival equipment,” ventured their battalion commander.

“Sir, I have brought an entire barrel cactus,” said the Yavapai warrior proudly. “When I get too hot, I just cut off the top and take a drink.” read more

Joke of the Day

A Chassidic rabbi was walking down a Brooklyn street when, suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew his shtreimel off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat, but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther away. He just couldn’t catch up to it.

A non-Jewish young man, witnessing this event and being more fit than the rabbi, ran after the hat and caught it, just before it was about to end up in a large puddle. The young man handed the hat over to the rabbi. The rabbi was so pleased and grateful that he gave the young man $20, put his hand on the man’s shoulder and blessed him.

The young man was very excited about both the tip and the blessing and decided to take his new found wealth to the Gravesend Racetrack. He bet the entire $20 on the first race he could. After the races, he returned home and recounted his very exciting day to his father. read more