Joke of the Day

A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, “Come over here friend. You look like you’ve had a hard life and I’d like to buy you a drink.” The pirate came over and ordered rum. “Just out of curiosity,” the man said, “how did you lose your leg?”

“Arrrgh!” said the pirate, “I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man’s rum.” read more

Joke of the Day

We had a power outage at our house this morning. So our PCs, our Laptops, IPad, were all down as well, the TV, DVR and DISH System were down too.

Then I discovered my iPhone was run down with no way to power up. And to make matters worse, it was cold and blowing  rain so I could not go golfing! read more

Joke of the Day

Redneck Church:

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

When the Pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering.” Five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. read more

Joke of the Day

Redneck engineering exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a ten pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) ’66 Ford Fairlane b) ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) ’64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of twenty gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is fourteen inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees? read more

Joke of the Day

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?”

The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. read more