Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
I met this fellow at the Summer Olympics. I said to him, “Excuse me but are you a pole vaulter?”
He replied, “No, I’m German, but how did you know my name was ‘Walter’.”
If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
Tip of the Day: Fart when people hug you. You’ll make them feel strong.
Artery : The study of paintings
Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria
Barium : What doctors do when patients die
Benign : What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section : A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan : Searching for kitty
Cauterize : Made eye contact with her
Colic : A sheep dog
Coma : A punctuation mark