you consider your license plate personalized because your Pops made it.
your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side.
the biggest city you’ve ever been to is Walmart. read more
You may be a Redneck if:
your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
you keep “flea and tick” soap in the shower.
you’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. read more
You Might be a Redneck if:
you take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
you can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. read more
A young man wants to ask a young woman to prom and he really likes her so he goes all out.
He goes to the florist to buy some flowers, but the line is out the door. He thinks, “That’s okay, she’s worth it,” and waits an hour in the flower line.
Next he goes to the candy store to get some really nice chocolates and again, the line is absurdly long. Again he thinks, “That’s okay, I’ll wait,” and waits an hour in the chocolate line. read more
To Whom it May Concern,
I have a very complicated benefits question.
Many years ago, I married a widow who had an 18 year old daughter.
After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit and he fell in love with my step daughter.
My father married her without my authorization. read more
A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price … the sheerer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. read more
If the No. 2 pencil is still the most popular, why is it still No. 2?
Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?
Why are you “in” a movie, but “on” TV? read more
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. read more
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull.
But that’s not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close. read more
A physician at the mental hospital determined it was time to release his best patient. The young man had been in analysis for a decade.
The patients family showed up for the big day, blue skies and sunshine, smiles all around.
The mood was broken by the sound of a lady’s scream, “My birds have escaped, they’re in that tree.” read more
