Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” read more
John’s teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
“John seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. ” read more
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
The medical research so far seems mostly implicate those born prior to 1950.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
Done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail!
That too! read more
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” She was incredibly ticked now. read more
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?”
“Fertilizer,” the farmer replied. read more
I met this fellow at the Summer Olympics. I said to him, “Excuse me but are you a pole vaulter?”
He replied, “No, I’m German, but how did you know my name was ‘Walter’.”
If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
Tip of the Day: Fart when people hug you. You’ll make them feel strong.
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those that can count and those that can’t. read more
Artery : The study of paintings
Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria
Barium : What doctors do when patients die
Benign : What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section : A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan : Searching for kitty
Cauterize : Made eye contact with her
Colic : A sheep dog
Coma : A punctuation mark read more
