Joke of the Day

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.

Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.” “I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?” “Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Goodbye, Mother’? It would make me feel so much better.” “Sure,” answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, the cashier said, “That will be $127.50.” “How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased a few things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.

Give In, or I’ll Chant Something

Herman Cain is asked why the people are protesting.

Get with the program Herman. I know what they want. Here is their list of demands. It’s like a new Constitution, Dude!

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending “free-trade” by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.

Demand four: Free college education.

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.

Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America’s nuclear power plants.

Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment.

Demand nine: Open borders migration. anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.

Demand ten: Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system.

Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the “Books.” World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the “Books.” And I don’t mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.

Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.

Demand thirteen: Allow all workers to sign a ballot at any time during a union organizing campaign or at any time that represents their yeah or nay to having a union represent them in collective bargaining or to form a union.

These demands will create so many jobs it will be completely impossible to fill them without an open borders policy.

Create jobs huh? Why bother. I will get paid whether I work or not. Why work? Why get an education? Why learn anything? I get free housing. I’m continuously debt free. I receive free healthcare. I can purchase anything I like due to my instant debt relief. This is great! Where do I sign?

Jôc y Dydd

This guy was so addicted to golf that all he did is go out on the links every single day. He had ambitions of making it to the Pros, so he took his game very seriously.

One day while playing in the final round of a tournament, the guy was in contention, so he played every shot with utmost care and concentration. After all the scores were submitted, he was declared the winner of the tournament.

He sped home to his wife with the trophy and some small cash prize. He kept repeating his round over dinner. The wife, who is not the least bit interested in golf, got up and went to bed early. The guy followed after a few hours, still high on his golf championship.

At around two in the morning, the wife jumps up and screams at her husband, who gets startled and wakes up. “What happened? Why are you screaming?” the guy asked his wife.

“Why wouldn’t I scream? You just pulled out a clump of my hair and threw it up in the air, mumbling something about checking the wind direction!

We’ve been Jonesed, Van that Is.

We’ve all heard of Van Jones, the former “Green Jobs Czar”. I, for one, have heard a lot about him but never bothered to look into his background, until now. He’s an interesting fellow.

During the Rodney King trial in 1992 Jones was a Yale Law School student (of course, what else would he be) doing an internship for the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights (LCCR) in San Fransisco, which viewed the United States as an irredeemably racist nation.

Jones states, “I met all these young radical people of color – I mean really radical, communists and anarchists. And it was, like, ‘This is what I need to be a part of.’ I spent the next ten years of my life working with a lot of those people I met in jail, trying to be a revolutionary. I was a rowdy nationalist on April 28th, and then the verdicts came down on April 29th. By August, I was a communist.”

He wrote an essay at the time which included, “After the [Rodney King] verdict, the pro-establishment folks were horrified as the rioting drove home a single truth: if “They” can get enough people out into the streets, “They” can do whatever they want to do.”
“Thus San Francisco’s Dukakis-backing, tofu-eating, Greenpeace-loving, sandal-wearing citizenry breathed a sigh of relief when the mayor snuffed out everyone’s rights and declared martial law.”
He sure did love you white liberals, eh. Interesting thought in the context of today’s “people in the streets”. My how things never change.

In 1993, Jones relocated to San Francisco, where he helped establish Bay Area Police Watch, a hotline and lawyer-referral service that began as a project of LCCR.

In 1996 he founded the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights, which, claimed that the American criminal-justice system is infested with racism.

By the late 1990s, Jones was a committed Marxist-Leninist-Maoist who viewed police officers as the arch-enemies of black people, and who loathed capitalism for allegedly exploiting non white minorities worldwide. He became a leading member of Standing Together to Organize a Revolutionary Movement (STORM), a now-defunct Bay Area Marxist-Maoist collective that was staffed by members of various local nonprofits, a number of whom had ties to the Ella Baker Center.

In the early 2000s, Jones and STORM were active in anti-Iraq War demonstrations organized by International ANSWER, a front group for the Marxist-Leninist Workers World Party. STORM also had ties to the South African Communist Party and it revered Amilcar Cabral, the late Marxist revolutionary leader (of Guinea-Bissau and the Cape Verde Islands) who lauded Lenin as “the greatest champion of the national liberation of the peoples.” (In 2006 Van Jones would name his own son “Cabral” — in Amilcar Cabral’s honor.)

During his time with STORM, Jones collaborated with many communist groups including, the Committees of Correspondence for Democracy and Socialism (CCDS), a Communist Party USA splinter group, in the early 1990s. Elizabeth “Betita” Martinez continues to sit on the CCDS advisory board alongside other communists such as Angela Davis & Timuel Black (who served on Barack Obama’s 2004 Senate campaign committee). Martinez is also a board member of the Movement for a Democratic Society, the parent organization of Progressives for Obama.

In 2005 Jones and the Ella Baker Center produced the “Social Equity Track” for the United Nations’ World Environment Day celebration, a project that eventually would evolve into the Baker Center’s Green-Collar Jobs Campaign — “a job-training and employment pipeline providing ‘green pathways out of poverty’ for low-income adults in Oakland.” I’m sure that worked out great. I know, when I think green, I think Oakland.

Soon after attending the Clinton Global Initiative in September 2007, Jones launched “Green For All,” a non-governmental organization “dedicated to building an inclusive green economy strong enough to lift people out of poverty … advocating for local, state and federal commitment to job creation, job training, and entrepreneurial opportunities in the emerging green economy – especially for people from disadvantaged communities.”

In 2008 Jones published his first book, The Green Collar Economy, which focused on environmental and economic issues. The book received favorable reviews from such notables as Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, Laurie David, Winona LaDuke, environmentalist Paul Hawken, and NAACP President/CEO Ben Jealous. There’s a shocker, huh.
In March of 2009, Obama appointed Jones his Green Jobs Czar.

In a July 2009 interview with Newsweek magazine, Jones, said he could not explain exactly what a “green job” is:
“Well, we still don’t have a unified definition, and that’s not unusual in a democracy. It takes a while for all the states and the federal government to come to some agreement. But the Department of Labor is working on it very diligently. Fundamentally, it’s getting there, but we haven’t crossed the finish line yet.”
I’ll define it. A green job is a government-subsidized job. That’s it.

So, there we have it; the history of a radical communist, racist. But at least he’s green.

Attribution: Free Republic

Joke of the Day

TWO ALLIGATORS

Two Alligators were sitting around talking, and the smaller Alligator turned the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” said the big gator, “what have you been eating?”

“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small gator.

“Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?”

“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.”

“Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?”

“Well, I crawl up under one of their Luxury cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the crap out of them and eat ’em!”

“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the crap out of a politician, there’s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”

Attribution: Karen

What would Keynes do? (Who cares)

Yesterday I read an article by Thomas Geoghegan on “The Nation.com” website. Yes it is indeed a far left rag, but sometimes it pays to see what they over yonder are thinking. They, once again, didn’t disappoint. I got about halfway, ok; I completed the first paragraph, when I thought maybe I should refute this.

The article he penned, or typed, was about the progressives’ economic hero John Maynard Keynes, the trade deficit & exports vs. imports. He asks himself, “What would Keynes do?”, regarding the economic malaise the country finds itself in.

Geoghegan writes, “For Keynes, the problem would be not just getting people into stores, or even getting employers to hire but getting our plutocracy (the rule or control of society by the wealthy) to invest. It’s not just our jobless rate but also our huge trade deficit that would appall him. He’d be aghast to see the United States bogged down in so much debt compared to the rest of the world.” I’m sure he would be aghast. I’m aghast by the debt we’ve accumulated also. Our private sector plutocracy, as he calls it, would love nothing more than to invest in this country. Unfortunately, like American Airlines (a sinking ship), the U.S. is not the greatest investment right now.

He continues, “Especially in a recession, he hated to see a country with a trade debt, or trade deficit, which arises when a country’s imports exceed exports. Indeed, when the trade deficit is as jaw dropping as the US trade deficit is now; it is harder to use Keynesian deficit spending to push employment back up.” Show me a single instance in history where Keynesian deficit spending has ever worked & hasn’t exasperated the problem. Of course imports exceed exports. Remember, we don’t make anything in this country anymore.

“The merchandise trade deficit of the United States is scary: $680.9 billion as of July 9…. It’s as if I’m pressing on the sucking chest wound in the world economy”, Geoghegan explains. That is a quite large number. Almost as much a the failed Keynesian style porkulus package with the Shovel Ready jobs that weren’t so shovel ready.

He states, “Actually, the trade deficit might be worse if there was full employment, our supposed goal, since we would have the money to buy even more hardware from abroad as we bite into more sandwiches at Jimmy John’s.” Never had a sandwich at Jimmy Johns, but now I know full employment is apparently a bad thing.

“Underneath that, there is a still bigger deficit, with US corporations outsourcing so many jobs. Here is a headline from the Wall Street Journal on April 19: BIG US FIRMS SHIFT HIRING ABROAD. During the 2000s, the Journal reports, while US multinationals have fired 2.9 million workers here, they have hired 2.4 million abroad. By the 1930s Keynes had notoriously turned against free trade and was giving lectures on the need for “national self-sufficiency. The one big (and smart) idea of absolute monarchy was to push exports over imports”, Geoghegan exclaims. That’s a lot of workers. It is very interesting that he never goes on to explain just why that might be.

An Absolute Monarch


“Keynes would not believe how Obama, the Tea Party, the Democrats, the Republicans—our leaders—pay so little attention to our whopping trade deficit, as if it had nothing at all to do with our slump.” Well, he got 3 out of 4 right.

He continues with, “But until we bring down the trade deficit and fix our balance of payments, there is no way out of debt.” (Balance of Payments: A summary of the international transactions of a country over a period of time including commodity and service transactions, capital transactions, and gold movements). I agree with that. “ It’s simple arithmetic”, he writes. “Somebody in this country is going to have to go into debt to make the balance-of-payments balance. Who’s going to do it? It’s the government or us. One day Uncle Obama or his successor will say, “I’m done going into debt to make the balance ‘balance.’ It’s your turn to go into debt to make the balance ‘balance.’”

Ok, I’ve had enough. These socialists will never get it. All that we’ve seen in this article is the typical lefty clap-trap. Somebody has to go into debt? Really? That’s the only answer?
There wasn’t a single word regarding cutting spending or the size of our bloated government. Not one word! How is going into debt going to balance anything, ever? No explanation of why jobs are leaving this country. Here’s the explanation. We are one, if not the most regulatorily burdened countries on earth. We have the highest corporate tax rate in the world. Gee, I wonder why companies are packing up? Why would anyone want to start a company without knowing what they have to comply with next year or even next week? Of course we have to import everything. Nanny government won’t allow us to make anything (Gibson Guitars, etc).

We did learn that an Absolute Monarchy can be a good thing. That’s something.

This is just another shining example that Keynes was an idiot & so is this author. I need an aspirin.

Joke du Jour

A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch” he said. “How much will you charge me?” Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?”

“That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” he responded. The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes.” A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already??” the startled husband asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip. “Thank you,” the blonde said, “And, by the way, it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

Attribution: Karen

Joke of the Day


Oldie but a Goodie

This guy is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a local shop and asks about various chainsaws.

The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day.”

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. “How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?” the man asks himself. “I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day.”

So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a defective saw. “The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I’ll just take it back to the dealer,” he says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man’s claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, “Hmm, it looks fine.”

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, “What’s that noise?

Caliphate, Schmalimate

Hizb ut-Tahrir (HT), Arabic for “Party of Liberation,” is an international organization that seeks to establish a global Islamic caliphate. Established in Jerusalem in 1953, HT claims to be a political organization “whose ideology is Islam.” A closer look at the group’s ideology and international activity reveals that HT not only promotes Islam as a way of life, but is also fundamentally opposed to capitalism and democracy and is explicitly hostile toward Israel and Jews.

The American branch of HT convened its 2011 Khilafah Conference, titled, “Revolution in the Muslim World: From Tyranny to Triumph,” on June 26, 2011, in the Chicago suburb of Oak Brook, Illinois. It is increasing its efforts to spread its message and recruit members in the U.S.

Look, they have free babysitting!

Speakers at the conference focused on HT’s larger agenda of establishing a global Islamic caliphate, which entails ousting existing governments.

One session at the conference, titled “Breaking the Shackles,” gave voice to the organization’s idea that capitalist and nationalist systems of the West are “enemies to Islam,” and the only solution is for a unified Islamic state to replace such systems with “the rule of Allah,” Sharia, and the Sunnah. The speaker at this session, identified as Brother Abu Saib, offered the February 2011 ousting of the Mubarak regime in Egypt as evidence of the Islamic nation awakening and starting on a path toward establishing a Caliphate.

Are you hearing this Bill Kristol and all other know it alls who were swooning of the democratic uprising that is the “Arab Spring”?

The last two sessions, “Shaking the Thrones” and “Life Under the Khilafah,” examined the state of suffering the Unmah (Arabic for community or nation) and Islam have fallen into since the abolition of the Ottoman Caliphate, and how everyday life will be governed once Islamic law is implemented worldwide with the rise of a new Caliphate. One of the speakers, identified as Abu Atallah, emphasized that the rise of the Caliphate would mean that borders become obsolete, nationalist ideology would be abandoned and Muslims would control the military.

The meeting ended with organizers stressing the importance of pushing forward for a unified Islamic state, and that the “Qur’an is a message for all mankind and a solution to all of man’s problems.” This was detailed in a pamphlet, “Khilafah State Structure: Introduction to the Constitution,” that was handed out during the conference.

A few of the more fun articles of the Constitution are as follows:
(I could see James Madison authoring these, or maybe Abdul Madison)

Article 1 states that ‘aqeedah (Islamic creed) will be the sole basis of the State’s foundation. The government’s structure in its entirety can only exist if it is from the Islamic ‘aqeeda.

Article 7 describes that the State will be charged with implementing “divine law”, therefore those “guilty of apostasy (desertion from one’s religion) from Islam are to be executed according to the rule of apostasy.”

In the “Army” section, Article 56 states, “Jihad is a compulsory duty for all Muslims. Military training is therefore compulsory. Thus, every male Muslim, fifteen years and over, is obliged to undergo military training in readiness for jihad. This sounds just like our Constitution.

Articles 108-118 describe the social system of the Caliphate would strictly enforce gender segregation between the two sexes, and while women will have the same rights and obligations as men, a woman’s primary role “is that of a mother and wife,” and she may not hold any positions of power within the structure of governance.

With regards to Israel and the Caliphate’s policy toward the Jewish state, Section 4 states that there can be no peace, and that “a state of war must be taken as the basis for all dispositions with them. They must be dealt with as if a rear war existed between us – whether an armistice exists or not.”

At the 2009 Conference, Abdul-Adil also urged the audience to never “stop calling for Islam as a complete way of life…unless and until Islam becomes victorious or we die in the attempt.” During a question and answer session following his presentation, Abdul-Adil was asked if sharia, or Islamic law, would trump the U.S. Constitution. “Yes, it would be gone,” Abdul-Adil replied.

Frankly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. They obviously just want peace & to live side by side with their Christian & Jewish brethren.

Attribution: ADL