You are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You ask for high fiber candy only.
8. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
6. People say: “Great John Kerry Mask,” and you’re not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …” and can’t remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating …
1. You keep having to go home to pee.