My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70.
Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
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I was at an A.T.M. yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.
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My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a m. Can you believe that! 2:30 am?
Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
Attribution: Fred