An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight to keep it from blowing away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, “Pardon me, madam,… I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”
“Yes, I know that,” said the lady. “I need both hands to hold onto my hat.”
“But madam, you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
The lady replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old. This is a brand new hat.”