So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St. Peter.
There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, “What are these clocks for?”
St. Peter replies, “These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa’s clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved.”
“Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice.”
St Peter added that, “We also have clocks of those who are exceptional but haven’t quite yet passed.”
The man then asks, “So where is Nancy Pelosi’s clock?”
St. Peter replies, “Oh, that is in Jesus’ office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!”