An old Arizona man calls his son. “I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. 40 years of misery are enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about,” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer. I can’t handle talking any more about this, so you can call your sister and tell her.”
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced! I’ll take care of this.”
The daughter calls her father and screams, “You are not getting divorced. Do not do a single thing until I get there. We’ll both be there tomorrow!”
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “There we go. They’re coming for Christmas … and they’re paying their own way.”
Attribution: Fred