If you answer the phone with, “Hello, you’re on the air,” most telemarketers will quickly hang up!
That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly tun into a karate master.
When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like, “East.”
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times!
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a year’s supply of shampoo.
I run like the winded.
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes, that would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head, that’ll freak you right out.