Santa Claus has the right idea …
Visit people only once a year.
What would men be without women?
Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce.
By all means, marry.
If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.