Two Alligators were sitting around talking, and the smaller Alligator turned the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”
“Well,” said the big gator, “what have you been eating?”
“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small gator.
“Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?”
“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.”
“Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?”
“Well, I crawl up under one of their Luxury cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the crap out of them and eat ’em!”
“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the crap out of a politician, there’s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”