The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his fingers on his elevated arm to his toes,
which measured eight feet. He walked out with $96,000.
The third sailor was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
who, when asked how he would like to be measured replied, “From the tip
of el miembro to my cajones.”
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him
providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical
officer arrived and instructed the Chief to “drop ’em,” which he did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s el
miembro and began to work back. “Dear Lord!” he suddenly exclaimed,
”Where are your cajones?”
The old Chief calmly replied, ”Vietnam.”