Five rules governing male behavior toward the allegedly weaker sex:
1. Never make a woman mad. They can remember stuff that hasn’t even happened yet.
2. Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
3. Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they tend to hate each other.
4. Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License contract. In the end, you have no option but to ignore everything and click “I agree.”
5. Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that this conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes. And will, I would add, be rebroadcast at a much later date for what will be purported to be your own good.