Not many people know it, but the Devil actually wears a wig. You’d never
know if you weren’t told … it’s a perfect fit.
Anyway, down in the world of fire and brimstone, one guy did find out
and he decided to have a little practical joke. So one night, he sneaks
past the guardian demons and manages to get all the way into Satan’s bed
chamber, whereupon he steals the hair-piece and makes good his escape.
Well, of course the Devil was most displeased by this and he rounds up
his demons and demands to know which of them had been so lazy as to let
someone sneak past them. Naturally, none of them owns up, which makes
him even madder. So he calls a general meeting of everyone in the
underworld which everyone has to attend.
The meeting is held in a huge cavern and it’s absolutely packed (except
for the odd gap in the crowd, where there’s a lava-pit or bottomless
fissure in the floor). As Satan steps up to speak, everyone sees that
he’s got no hair and peals of laughter start echoing out around the hall.
The devil bellows at them to be quiet and a deadly hush falls.
“Whoever stole it,” he shouts, “had better return it immediately!” And
here he paused for effect … “Or else there will be Hell Toupee!”