by: the Common Constitutionalist
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You may have heard that last Monday, Colgate University, in lovely New York State, went into lockdown over an active shooter incident.
Oh, you didn’t hear? Maybe that’s because was there was no active shooter on the campus of Colgate University. As defined by the federal government, an active shooter is an individual actively engaged in killing or attempting to kill people in a confined and populated area.
Sure, there was a call placed to campus security regarding a sighting. “Shortly after 8 p.m. Monday, two students reported seeing a shirtless black man running in the rain carrying his shirt and phone in one hand, and what appeared to be a weapon in his other hand. He was running into a campus building,” wrote Syracuse.com.
So it is night time – it’s pouring down rain, and a man is running. Whoever called in the report must have been Clint Barton – Hawkeye from Marvel’s Avengers.
Evidently the report was almost entirely accurate, so bully for the witnesses. There was but one thing the witnesses described incorrectly. The shirtless black man was armed with a GLUE gun and was rushing into the building to complete an art project that was due.