Another Pearl of Wisdom from Fred the Joke Man:
My old Grandpa said to me, “Son, there comes a time in every man’s life when he stops bustin’ knuckles and starts bustin’ caps and usually it’s when he becomes too old to take a whoopin’.” I don’t carry a gun to kill people; I carry a gun to keep from being killed.
I don’t carry a gun because I’m evil; I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the World.
I don’t carry a gun because I hate the government; I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down.
The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter.
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
“I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”