One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink.
He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.
The other man came along behind and filled in the hole.
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, young man entered.
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three pennies to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that it’s his wife’s birthday today. At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her.
Unfortunately, he realizes that life has been good and she has everything she needs. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young.
A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill. The doctor says: “You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you are going to die this evening.”
The man is distraught and wonders how he is going to tell his wife. Well, he tells her and she takes it pretty well: “Honey, this is going to be a night that you will always remember,” she says. “I am going to treat you like a king.”