I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. – Demetri Martin
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. – Fred Allen
Message for a Senior Citizen:
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others.
However, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was not Senior Citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
Tyrone was having trouble in school; his teacher was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me crazy, Tyrone; can’t you learn anything?
One day Tyrone’s mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career. Tyrone’s mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit, relocating to Cleveland.
The following video is comedian George Carlin’s rather politically incorrect take on saving the planet, and how mankind is not to blame for its destruction.