Two guys driving through Texas get pulled over by a Texas Ranger.
The ranger walks up and taps on the driver’s window, the driver powers it down and the ranger smacks the driver in the head with his baton.
“Ow!” says the driver. “Why’d you do that?” read more
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. read more
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass! read more
Three brothers, ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One evening, the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses.
He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the tub?” read more
Jerry, his wife and mother-in-law went on a safari. One evening, while
still deep in the jungle, his wife awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on both of them going to find her
mother. read more
Two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular
churches. They both enjoyed riding the bikes and talking. Then one
Sunday, one of the ministers was walking.
The other minister said, “My what happened to your bike?”
“Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?” read more
More Simple Home Remedies
And again – if you try these at home, you’re a moron!
1. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough at all.
2. You only need two tools in life … WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use WD40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use Duct Tape. read more
Simple Home Remedies and More
And if you try these at home, you’re a moron!
1. If you’re choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. read more
If you answer the phone with, “Hello, you’re on the air,” most telemarketers will quickly hang up!
That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly tun into a karate master.
When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like, “East.” read more
