Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph, “Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!”
Ralph looked out the window and said, “I can’t jump out the window! It’s raining like hell out there.”
Mary cried, “If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of us!” read more
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered… read more
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: ”Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. read more
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around, and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. read more
My husband was driving home from work when he was pulled over for not wearing his seat belt.
Two days later – same cop, same ticket. read more
A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident – body parts everywhere.
He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on bullevard.” read more
Here are six Conundrums of Socialism in the United States of America :
1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized.
2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims. read more
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,” the guide said. “Unfortunately, it’s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow.” read more
It was a practical session in the psychology class.
The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was in the middle of the cage.
Then, the professor put a piece of cake on one side and a female rat on the other side.
The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it. read more
A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order.
She wrote her will and made her final arrangements.
As part of these arrangements she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted. read more
