One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.
The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. read more
Prosecutor: I’ll ask you one last time, did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No sir, I did not. read more
A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.
One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.
Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.
With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, “A lawyer!”
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes. read more
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Klu Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie, and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family.”
No one moved. read more
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there …”, as he pointed out a distant location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.” See this badge? read more
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?”
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No.” read more
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.
“How are you grandpa?” he asks.
“Feeling fine,” says the old man.
“What’s the food like?” read more
