When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making. read more
Kirk was telling his colleagues about a strange dream he had the previous night.
He dreamt he was in the middle of action in the old west riding a stagecoach.
All of a sudden, a cowboy riding a horse appears on the right side of the stagecoach and a horse without a rider pulls up on the left. read more
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. read more
Jose and Carlos are beggars. They beg in different areas of town.
Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but collects only about $8 or $9 a day.
Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar bills every day. He drives a new truck, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. read more
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. read more
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. “More!” he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. read more
A man goes to work one Monday with a black eye.
At the other workers insistence he tells them he got it in church. “I was sitting behind a very heavyset lady. read more
A grandmother is throwing a party for her granddaughter and had gone all out … a caterer, band and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they would help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house. read more
Patty’s dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter and I’ll mail you a check.
“Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my bulldog, Race. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I repeat, do not talk to my parrot!” read more
A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits.
The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee’s pay. read more
