Joke of the Day

A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk “do you live here?” “Yep”. “Would you like me to help you upstairs?” “Yep”. When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked “Is this your floor?” “Yep”.

Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn’t want to face the man’s irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. read more

Joke of the Day

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?”

The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of New York City.” read more

Joke of the Day

Little Tommy was sitting on the toilet. His mother thought he was taking too long, so she went into the bathroom to check on him.
Tommy was there sitting on the toilet seat reading a book. But every few seconds, he would put the book down, grab the toilet seat with one hand, and hit himself on top of the head with the other hand. read more

Joke of the Day

A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.”

“What’s the problem?” the docotor inquired.

“Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.”

“My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you’ll have women buzzing all around you.” read more

Joke of the Day

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
 
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
 
“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
 
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.
 
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
 
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”

Joke of the Day

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces  over the intercom that “we’re just waiting for the pilots.”

The  passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots  walking towards the plane.

Both men are using guide dogs and appear to  be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is  a joke.

The men board the plane and go into the cockpit. More  concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers. read more