Jokes

1) While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to the instructor. “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He addressed the man, “can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?” Jack leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Its Pillsbury isn’t it?”

2)
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” said the woman, “how old are you?”
“Twenty-six,” he said.

Yahoo for the RNC!

The following article is from Mondays Yahoo News titled:

On private call, Republicans say attacking Obama personally is too dangerous: Yahoo News exclusive By: Rachel Rose Hartman

(My editorial comments are represented by ‘EC’)

Republicans on a private Republican National Committee conference call with allies warned Tuesday that party surrogates should refrain from personal attacks against President Barack Obama, because such a strategy is too hazardous for the GOP.

EC: Here we go again. It’s the McCain campaign round 2.

“We’re hesitant to jump on board with heavy attacks” personally against President Obama, Nicholas Thompson, the vice president of polling firm the Tarrance Group, said on the call. “There’s a lot of people who feel sorry for him.”

EC: Who is talking about attacking the President personally? I don’t care about him as a man. I care about how his policies are killing America, on purpose. It doesn’t matter what is said. If it casts Obama at all in a negative light, the major media will consider it a personal attack.

Recent polling data indicates that while the president suffers from significantly low job approval ratings, voters still give “high approval” to Obama personally, Thompson said.

Voters “don’t think he’s an evil man who’s out to change the United States” for the worse–even though many of the same survey respondents agree that his policies have harmed the country, Thompson said. The upshot, Thompson stressed, is that Republicans should “exercise some caution” when talking about the president personally.

EC: That’s what losers always do, “Exercise caution”. This is exactly the problem with the Republican Party. It is still run by inside the beltway, elitist Republicans, not conservatives.

On the call–which Yahoo News was invited to attend because of a mistake by someone on the staff of the Republican National Committee–Ari Fleischer, the former press secretary for George W. Bush, encouraged Republicans to turn around Democratic attacks lobbed at the GOP presidential candidates (Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich, for starters) for “flip-flopping.”

“I don’t like playing defense,” Fleischer said. He suggested the listeners to Tuesday’s call label the president as a flip-flopper on the following issues: opposing tax increases for those making under $250,000, opposing the Bush tax cuts, opposing raising the debt limit, and opposing a health care mandate.

“When it comes to flip flopping, Barack Obama is the king of flip flopping,” Fleischer said. “You can offer that to anybody,” he suggested.

EC: Fleischer is correct about that. Obama is a major flip-flopper, but then so are Romney & Gingrich. I wouldn’t fully trust Fleischer knowing he was attached to the Bush Administration.

Thompson noted that Obama may be boxed in by similarly strong personal approval numbers for Republican lawmakers as he ponders attacking the GOP House majority during the 2012 campaign.

“Obama running against Congress is not going to work,” Thompson said.
EC: Really, Mr. Thompson? The drive bys will print & air anything Obama wants put out.

In a poll conducted in early November by the Tarrance Group and the Democratic group Lake Research for Politico and George Washington University, voters gave their personal member of Congress a 46 percent approval rating–even higher than the 44 percent personal approval numbers for Obama in the survey, Thompson said. (The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.1 percent.)

Fifty-eight percent of the voters surveyed disapproved of how Obama is handling relations with Congress, according to Tarrance’s November poll.

“It’s a tough road for him when you look at those numbers,” Thompson said of the president.

Thompson said that his group’s research suggests that voters are giving Obama higher approval on foreign policy than on the issue of jobs and the economy.

Voters aren’t simply looking at the president as the symbol for a “broken Washington,” Thompson said.

Update 3:40 p.m.: Republican National Committee communications director Sean Spicer followed up with Yahoo News to say the story “misses the point” and that Tuesday’s call wasn’t about ways to avoid attacking the president, it was about sharing the best strategies for attacks. “It makes more sense to focus on his failed policies than on personal attacks,” Spicer told Yahoo News of their data regarding the president.

Ari Fleischer also emailed Yahoo News to share his complete list of Obama flip-flops, which, in addition to the points above, includes: promising to cut the deficit in half by the end of his first term; vowing to lower unemployment below 8 percent following the stimulus; falling short on shovel-ready jobs; contradicting himself on constitutional rights– condemning Bush but then supporting “warrantless wiretaps, indefinite detentions, secret renditions and kept [Guantanamo] open; giving lobbyists waivers to work at the White House after saying they wouldn’t work there; and refusing public financing in 2008 after vowing to accept it.
End of Article

EC: The bottom line is, in recent history, moderates always lose national elections. Real conservatives always win. Those who pretend to be conservative (Bush 43) also win. I was fooled by Bush the first time & held my nose the second. Evidently, the smarter than us crowd, don’t get that. Or maybe they do, but because they are moderates or liberals also, they cannot subscribe to that fact. I suspect it is the latter.

Look at the results of the 2010 elections. The true conservatives won, even being out spent exponentially. Their own party bushwhacked those who didn’t prevail. Thanks Karl Rove, et al.

This election is the most important in recent history, maybe going back 60 to 70 years. Enough with the dopey polls. All the polls do is sway public opinion & make the pollsters wealthy.

The public must be educated. Most people don’t have the first clue how or why America was set up the way it was. Most have never read the Constitution or know the difference between a democracy & a republic or which one we are.

We need to be positive & demonstrate why conservatives have the recipe for success. No one wants to hear their president is a bad guy, even if he is.

This is why Newt has taken off. He is a smart confident guy & a great speaker. He is positive & gives historical context to his statements. Like Trump & Christie, he also doesn’t take any crap & gives it right back when someone tries. He is educating the public. Unfortunately, he is not a conservative. He just sounds like one.

RNC Fundraising Letter

I am disappointed, although not at all surprised; the RNC would think this way. This is the same strategy they employed 3 years ago. They have been spineless worms for as long as I can recall.

Speaking of recall, that’s what should happen to everyone at the RNC. They should all be recalled & replaced with real conservatives.

Joke of the Day

A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. The parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.

The boys’ mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children. He told her that God is everywhere & sees everything they do. She asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately.

So, the next morning, the mother sent her youngest son in first.

The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?” The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response.So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God!!?” Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.

The elder raised his voice and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD!?” The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!”

Black Friday Boon, for Guns

USA Today reports that “Gun dealers flooded the FBI with background check requests for prospective buyers last Friday, smashing the single-day, all-time high by 32%, according to bureau records. Deputy Assistant FBI Director Jerry Pender said the checks, required by federal law, surged to 129,166 during the day, far surpassing the previous high of 97,848 on Black Friday of 2008.”

NICS Firearm Background Checks — Friday, November 25, 2011:

Total NICS Checks—129,166 (highest day ever) 32.01 percent over Friday, November 28, 2008

Federal Checks—81,609 (highest day ever) 26.69 percent over Friday, November 28, 2008

POC State Checks—47,557 (4th highest day)

Other Records:
NICS Contracted Call Centers—69,497 (highest day ever) 16.30 percent over Friday, November 28, 2008

NICS E-Check—11,953 (highest day ever) 119.76 percent over Friday, February 11, 2011

Some people have “attributed the unusual surge to a convergence of factors, including an increasing number of first-time buyers seeking firearms for protection and women who are being drawn to sport shooting and hunting.”

Yes, that’s it. It’s not due to the world on the brink of a meltdown or ever-increasing violence countrywide.

Wisconsin’s concealed carry law isn’t even a month old, but thousands already have permission to pack heat and they’re buying up the hardware to do it.

Yes, of course. Concealed carry permits for hunting & sport shooting. I know, when I’m out hunting, I want to conceal my firearm. That way, my prey can’t figure out what my intentions are until it’s too late. I walk up to the deer. “Hey how’s it going? I’m just here to talk.” Then, when he least expects it, I draw my concealed 45 & Blamo!

Reports confirm gun sales have increased across Wisconsin and the state Justice Department has been deluged with so many permit requests it’s already scrambling to keep up.

The Justice Department’s handgun hotline, a number gun sellers can call to initiate background checks on would-be gun buyers, had received 7,355 calls in the first weeks of November.

Roger Wendling, owner of Monsoor’s Sport Shop in La Crosse, estimates he’s seen a 25 percent to 30 percent increase in handgun sales this month. About 70 percent of the concealed carry clientele have been women, he said.

The nerve of some women, wanting to protect themselves.

In fact, it is not just the Black Friday phenomena that is the cause for the increase.

According to the FBI’s NICS records, from 2000 through most of 2006 the number of firearms purchases remained remarkably stable, averaging around 8.5 million transactions per year. But toward the close of 2006, gun sales began to rise dramatically, ending the year at over 10 million. The following year, 2007, sales again rose to over 11 million.

Why the increase after 2006? What happened that could effect such change?

The (what’s a second amendment?) Democrats took control of Congress and we all know how gun-friendly they are. Sheer coincidence, I assume.

It was the election of Barack Obama that really ignited the current sales frenzy. With Obama’s election, over 3 million guns were purchased in the last two months of 2008 alone, ending the year at 12.7 million. Then, in 2009, the very first year of the Obama administration, Americans bought a record, 14 million guns, a whopping 40% increase over the first year of George Bush’s presidency. Another coincidence.

If this business boon were happening in any other industry, the media talking heads would be all over it. But alas, they can’t, for it is counterintuitive to their worldview & is anathema to their gun control mantra.

John Caile states, “It is often said that what people actually do, especially with their money, is a far better indicator of what they are thinking than what they say. If that is true, then the growing number of Americans who are buying guns for the first time are showing quite clearly that they are increasingly distrustful of their government’s ability to protect them.” I couldn’t agree more.

Attribution: Godfather Politics, Postcrescent.com, Redstate.com

A Few Jokes


1)
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away. “Maybe your other models let you kiss them,” she said.

“I’ve never tried to kiss a model before,” he swore.

“Really?” she said, softening, “How many models have there been?”

“Four,” he replied, “A jug, two apples, and a vase.”

2)
A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.

“Well,” said the drunk, “it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.”
“Let me have it,” said the lawyer.

Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely.
“Yes,” he finally said, “it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don’t know what it is. Where did you get it?”

“From my nose,” the drunk replied.

3)
This Pun is so bad it must be shared!

Some friars needed to raise more money for books for the school, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.

He asked the good brothers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close.

Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that “Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.”

It’s Not the Jobs Silly, It’s the Number


We’re back. It’s done and they got the headline: “Unemployment, 8.6%!”

He did it. As promised, Obama is pulling us back from the brink. His policies are finally taking hold.

Well, as usual, nothing is as it seems.

The Labor Department says that employers added about 120,000 jobs this past month compared to the 80,000 added the previous month when we saw only a 0.1% drop in the unemployment rate. So an additional 40k equals 0.3%? I’m no mathematician, but…

I’m confused. In June of this year (a mere 5 months ago) the New York Times reported it would take 150,000 jobs added per month just to keep up with population growth & to keep the unemployment number from rising. Yet it went down. Huh?

There must be a reasonable explanation. I don’t know about reasonable, but here it is.

What was underreported was the number of people who have quit looking for work in the last month. It is 315,000, dwarfing the amount of hires.

So, just like magic, they’re no longer counted. Therefore, the universe of jobs available in the country is down by 315,000. That is the labor force participation rate. The labor force (workforce) participation rate is a meager 64%. It fell to 64% from 64.2%. So the 0.2% drop equals 315,000 people leaving the workforce.

I’ve written of the Workforce Participation Rate. It’s a measure of the active portion of an economy’s labor force. The participation rate refers to the number of people who are either employed or are actively looking for work. The number of people who are no longer actively searching for work are not included in the participation rate. In a poor economy, such as this, many people get discouraged and stop looking for employment and as a result, the participation rate decreases.

That small number of jobs created can lower unemployment rate 0.4%, almost one half of a percent? Creating 120,000 new jobs can do that? Yep. Isn’t fuzzy math fun?

That alone tells us how small the labor force participation rate is.

It also tells us how small the universe of available jobs in the country is, when creating 120,000 can have that seemingly large effect, and we still had over 400,000 applications for unemployment compensation reported yesterday. So just 120,000 new jobs can lower the unemployment rate almost a half a point.

Also, as always happens, that 120,000 number will be quietly revised down at a later date. Don’t look for it to be reported.

I’d bet, if one were to look at that 120k, they would find most of those jobs are seasonal hires. That means they won’t exist in January.

It will be interesting to see, after the Holidays, what kind of wacky accounting tricks the Administration uses to keep that already bogus number under 9%.

Maybe they can hope that many more people just give up?
That would work.

Attribution: Calculated Risk, Godfather Politics, Drudge

Couple of Jokes


Joke 1: During a bank robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.
He looked at a man and asked, “Did you see my face?”
The man said, “Yes!” The robber shot him.
Then he asked a woman, “Did you see my face?”
She said, “No, but my boss over there did.”

Joke 2: Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on, Jim slips something into Paul’s hand. Without looking down, Paul whispers, “What is this?”

Jim replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.”

Rules of Enragement

The other night, I was watching a television show called Bomb Patrol Afghanistan EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal). It was about our military EOD personnel that patrol areas of Afghanistan for IED’s & other explosive devices used to kill & injure our troops.

It was quite interesting to see the technology at their disposal & the bravery it takes just to be out there on patrol.

Sadly, this is not the purpose of this article. Throughout the program I was dumbstruck regarding what seemed to be the Rules of Engagement for our guys.

What put me over the edge was a portion of the show highlighting soldiers that had obtained a tip of an explosive vest being dropped off on a bridge to be picked up by another party. The soldiers waited for hours. No drop occurred. They then received a tip that the drop would happen that evening in a different area.

Next, we see the guys in their Humvees. It’s pitch black & they are using their nightvision equipment.

Afghanistan-Kunar Night Patrol

They are watching one individual beside a car in the desert with the trunk open. He picks up the explosive vest, places it in his trunk & begins driving. The soldiers explain the vehicle is now effectively a car bomb, which could be driven directly at them.

They follow him, where he stops, drops the vest off on the side of the road & drives away. The soldiers begin to prep explosives inside their vehicle. One soldier steps out with the explosives in hand, walks up to vest in the dark, places the explosives on or near the vest & heads back to the vehicle. They detonate the vest & continue on.

I’m thinking to myself, what the crap is going on here? What are the Rules of Engagement over there?

It seems to me, the second the guy picked up the vest, he is the enemy. Open fire & take him out, detonating the vest at the same time. Letting him drive away should not be an option.

In 2009, the ROEs (Rules of Engagement) were as follows: The actual ROEs are said to be classified U.S. and NATO secrets,

Official Rules of Engagement

but based on individual soldier accounts, those restrictions included the following:
No night or surprise searches

Villagers are to be warned prior to searches

Afghan National Army or Afghan National Police must accompany U.S. units on searches

U.S. soldiers may not fire at insurgents unless they are preparing to fire first

U.S. forces cannot engage insurgents if civilians are present

Only women can search women

Troops can fire on insurgents if they catch them placing an improvised explosive device but not if insurgents walk away from where the explosives are.

Troops cannot fire on insurgents that lower or drop their weapons and walk or run away (leaving them, of course, to return later to continue to try to kill our troops).

After General Petraeus replaced Gen. McChrystal, the ROEs were supposed to have been modified to make it easier for our troops but little has changed.

What the Rules Should Be


According to soldiers’ accounts, the enemy knows these rules & they use them to their advantage all the time. Soldiers describe it as going into battle with one arm tied behind your back.

In one case, villagers had tipped off U.S. forces of the presence of a Taliban commander who was threatening village elders.

To get permission to go after him, U.S. troops had to get 11 separate Afghan, U.S. and international forces’ approval to the plan. The approval, however, did not come until well into the next day. By then, the Taliban commander had moved on, to the consternation of the villagers who had provided the tip. Observers have claimed that it can take some 96 hours to acquire all the permissions to act.

In another case, insurgents planting an IED had detected the presence of U.S. forces and immediately began leaving the area, tossing evidence of their preparations along the way. U.S. forces could not fire on them.

In still another case, 4 Taliban fighters were firing at a group of Marines from a mud hut in an Afghan town. When they were finished shooting (maybe they ran out of ammo), they simply laid down their weapons, walked out of the building & blended into the population. The Marines could not fire on them.

Let me just go out on a limb here and say, we will never win a war again. Bring all the troops home. When we put more emphasis on the safety of everyone but ourselves, we might as well give up and come home.

If our politicians insist on sending our military all over the globe to fight, let them fight. Let them bring overwhelming force to the enemy, claim victory & then come home.

We have the greatest fighting force in history. Just imagine what they could do if they were ever truly unleashed.