A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years!”, he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”
Then she asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?”
He replies, “Ten years!”
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”
Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?”
And the man replies, “Wow! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there!”
Let the jobs flow. Obama’s AG Secretary Tom Vilsack Has discovered a new stimulus. As if unemployment checks didn’t stimulate the economy enough. Now foodstamps or SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) will add even more jobs? Fantastic! (Definition of fantastic: conceived or appearing as if conceived by an unrestrained imagination; odd and remarkable; bizarre). Sounds apropos.
You know those kiosks in the mall that sell sunglasses & jewelry. I say we have foodstamp kiosks. If you’re unemployed, all the better. At the kiosk you will receive foodstamps & a universal, government approved job application. The applications will, of course, be in 97 different languages. Wouldn’t want to discriminate. Fill out the application & take it & the foodstamps to a store that accepts them. Use the foodstamps to purchase whatever you need & hand them the application. They will be so overwhelmed with the additional workload, they’ll hire you on the spot. Easy peasy.
Oh, I forgot. Think of all the extra government jobs created by people having to man the kiosks. Just keeps getting better. We’re on the road to fat city!
Freshman Congressman Mike Kelly of Pennsylvania tries common sense on Capital Hill. What’s extraordinary is the fact this is the exception & not the rule as it would be out here in the real world. I’ll bet it mostly fell on deaf ears.
(Attribution: Kellen Smith)
Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, enters the race to be the republican nominee for President. The anticipation was palpable. Perry, the savior of the party, has vaulted into lead by a wide margin. This sounds eerily familiar. Does the name Colin Powell ring a bell. Several years ago Powell’s name was mentioned by many to run as a republican for President. His approval numbers were quite high. Problem was, no one knew anything about his politics. People just blindly jumped on his bandwagon. Turns out he was a hack. Have we learned anything? Evidently not.
I don’t for a moment think Perry is as liberal as Powell. Not by a long shot. But he doesn’t appear to be the constitutional conservative I crave. In 2001, when he first took office as Governor of Texas, Perry went to Mexico. He boasted that his state was now the first to grant “the children of undocumented workers” (illegal aliens) in-state tuition for Texas colleges. It was the Texas Dream Act. Hooray! A group I follow called Numbers USA, an anti-illegal immigration group gives Perry a grade of D-. Not good.
In 2007 Perry issued an executive order (more like executive odor) mandating a vaccine for girls entering 6th grade to prevent a virus that causes cervical cancer. You may remember it. I’m not a big fan of government mandates of any kind. I’m the parent. I decide. Recently he did admit that was a mistake. Not that it was wrong to do it but because he didn’t realize the great opposition to it. Another good sign.
He used to be a democrat & was actually Al Gore’s Texas campaign manager in 1988. Al didn’t fare very well.
He almost doubled his state spending in ten years.
There is more, but for me, that’s enough. I will not support a big government republican again. So far it’s Michelle Bachmann. She is as close as I’m going to get to what I want. No more Bushs, Doles, McCains, Huntsmans, Romneys. I’m done. And don’t give me that, she’s unelectable crap!! She’s only unelectable if you listen to the media & the progressive republicans. They hate her because she will sap their power. Let’s not compromise this time. It’s too damn important.
Puppy kickin it on the beach. I’m tired just watching him!
Over the years the pace of NFL games has been slower & slower. Stoppages for everything short of bathroom breaks & mid-game nappy time. Now the league geniuses, in an effort to cleanse the game of any possible human error, have mandated that every scoring play be reviewed. I understood the rule to be a simple booth review unless there is a question. At such time the booth official would buzz the head ref. He would then go under the dreaded hood to look at the play for what feels like forever. After watching the games this past week it seems every play was booth reviewed. Ridiculous! As a fan, I think this stinks. It disrupts the flow of the game & will potentially take away the momentum from a team. It will also free up coaches to throw the infamous “Red Flag” on much less consequential plays. No more will coaches have to worry about challenging a called score. Automatic review under 2 minutes, I get. But every scoring play? Come on! Just play the game.
Andrew Klavan Strikes Again.
It is a cardinal mistake in any competition, be it sports or politics – and politics is a competition of ideas – to underestimate your opponent. All too often, underestimating your opponent leads to disaster. I believe that America, especially America’s political class, is vastly underestimating President Obama; and if we continue to do so, it will be a disaster for America. Specifically, I am worried about the growing political story line that the Obama administration is “failing” because they are just inexperienced and the president is simply “in over his head.”
It is true that Mr. Obama never held an executive position in his life prior to being elected to the presidency. It is true that Mr. Obama had only three years (2005-2008) in the U.S. Senate prior to going to the White House, and it is true that Mr. Obama had just seven years of experience (1997-2004) in the Illinois state Senate – where he cast more than 130 “present” votes rather than go on the record on contentious issues. However, we should be under no illusion that the president’s lack of leadership experience means he is “in over his head” or that he does not know what he is doing.
Mr. Obama knows precisely what he is doing: He is changing America into his vision of a European-style socialist utopia where the government controls every aspect of our lives. Consider the facts, since taking office, Mr. Obama has taken control of the student loan industry, the health care industry, the banking and financial sectors, and he orchestrated the bankruptcy and reorganization of two-thirds of the American automotive industry, leaving his political allies in the labor movement in effective control of the companies and allowing the administration to dictate the industry’s direction.
Although Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and then-Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi could not strong-arm enough Democrats to pass legislation to allow the president to take control of our energy sector, the Obama administration’s Environmental Protection Agency is aggressively rewriting and reinterpreting environmental regulations to accomplish the same end result: government control of energy.
The pattern is unmistakable: Every solution proposed by the Obama administration to every problem is more government control. That is the textbook definition of socialism: “Any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
Putting aside the fact that socialism is absolutely incompatible with the philosophy that made America a world superpower – limited government, light regulations, low taxes and maximum labor-market flexibility – the problem with socialism, as Margaret Thatcher famously said, is “that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” If you don’t believe this statement is true, how do you explain the sovereign debt crisis threatening to destroy the European Union?
While America’s debt crisis cannot be laid entirely at the feet of Mr. Obama, the fact is that in pursuit of his socialist agenda, he has accelerated the crisis with his reckless spending. The federal budget deficit in 2008, the last year before Mr. Obama took office, was $458.6 billion. The projected deficit for 2011 is $1.5 trillion – 323 percent higher than the nation’s deficit in the last year before President Obama took office. The president’s budget request for fiscal 2012 would lead us to the highest-ever budget deficit, roughly $1.6 trillion.
It is not yet too late to save America from financial ruin nor is it too late to save the American way of life. But to confront these threats, we must confront reality and that means we must stop viewing the president’s policies as the innocent missteps of a man who is “in over his head.” The president is not in over his head; he knows precisely what he is doing: rushing America down the path toward socialism.
Thank you Mr. Burton.
I was reading an article in AlJazeera as to why the U.S. economy is in turmoil. I know what you’re thinking, but Hilary told us they were a true unbiased news agency. I thought, hey, if you can’t believe her, who can you believe. They write, “The US massively wastes money and resources in three critical areas, especially when compared with our international competitors: military spending, health care, and energy/transportation. First off, our? But I digress. I agree we do waste a lot of money but I wasn’t aware our military was competing with anyone (enemies not withstanding). Rather than tackle all three points, I’ve decided to concentrate on the first, military spending.
AlJazeera continues with, “The US spends as much money on its defense budget as the next twenty nations combined, and three times more than all conceivable enemies combined. Is that level of spending really necessary to secure the homeland and global stability?” I bet that’s probably true, that we spend more than all those other countries combined. But why? Well, there are a couple of reasons. One is what they describe as payola. “It’s a major source of pork for the use of politicians in their re-election campaigns.” I concur. There have been projects the military didn’t even want but were rammed through due to political pressure. The second reason is more important to understand. Most of those other countries don’t have to spend near the amount for the fact they have barely a military. They have us to protect them. In some cases, through treaties, they are barred from major military build up. That, in my opinion, must change. We are chumps for allowing these other countries to skate while we protect them. If they want our help, they can pay protection money (a little Mafia lingo). It’s interesting to note that plenty of these other countries are broke anyway. Knowing they don’t have to pay to defend themselves, they can’t shovel money into social programs. That’s gone well.
I had to laugh at this next one.
Al-Qaeda AlJazeera states, “Is Afghanistan the enemy, a poor, ravaged country of little strategic value with an economy smaller than that of tiny Rhode Island? Is it Iran, a poor country badly in need of economic development that, despite all its oil, has an economy smaller than that of New Jersey?” Ok, I’ll give you Afghanistan. Is just a training ground & base of terrorist operations. Oh, and opium exports. Nothing to see here. Iran, on the other hand. Please. We should disarm because Iran is just a poor, harmless, backwater country. One that, given the chance, will destroy Israel & is close to a nuclear weapon to attack us with. They are the number one promoter & financier of worldwide terrorism, but due to its size, it can’t be a problem.
Hilary, the genius.