Witz des Tages

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It’s a bad one. Both their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a
man; that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars!
They’re destroyed, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be
a sign that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

Flattered, the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely! This must be a sign!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t
break. Surely this must be a sign from above to have us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in
agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it
back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in, and
hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”

I’m Filled with…Well Rage!

Typical American

Ah yes, its late summer in the Big Apple. What shall we do today? I know. Let us go protest the capitalist pigs. What shall we call it? How about “The Day of Rage”? We can make nifty signs & stand around, wave our signs & shout neato slogans like, “The rich are making us poor”! But I don’t think the rich are making me poor. So what, it sounds good, right? Yeah, right. Let’s do this. Where should we do this? Well, Wall Street silly, where else. That’s where all the fat cat rich bankers are. But it’s Saturday. They’re not even there. Well I just got a tweet that says be there today.

And so began the first annual “Day of Rage”. It wasn’t at all spontaneous. Starting back in March , ACORN founder Wade Rathke announced what he called “days of rage in 10 cities around JP Morgan Chase.” Rathke was president of an SEIU local in New Orleans. Let’s see; we have SEIU, ACORN & Code Pink. Fine upstanding & pro-American organizations all. The festivities are also being organized by Stephen Lerner of SEIU. Coincidentally, both friends of our President. Oh, that’s right, Obama was an ACORN lawyer. Lerner is a radical leftist. Rathke, the same. Lerner is the one that organized the recent SEIU, “Justice for Janitors” campaign.

We had more people at the Manchester Tea Party Rally

According to the website Adbusters, a group promoting the demonstration, the goal of “#OccupyWallStreet” is to get President Obama to establish a commission to end “the influence money has over our representatives in Washington.” The group advocates camping out in Manhattan for months if needed to get the message across. Yeah, that’ll happen. The “Occupy Wall Street” website did instruct protestors to do so peacefully but as part of his planned protests, Lerner called for “a week of civil disobedience, direct action all over the city.” Lerner outlined his goals: “How do we bring down the stock market? How do we bring down their bonuses? How do we interfere with their ability to, to be rich?”

Is that a Stone Tablet?

I’m sure this will turn out just fine. After all, with these historically peaceful organizations running things, what could go wrong? Apparently nothing. I just got word the crowd was estimated at around 1,000. They were expecting 20,000. Oh well, maybe next time.

Joke(s) of the Day

They’re short, so take two.

Doctor: “I have some bad news and some very bad news.”
Patient: “Well, might as well give me the bad news first.”
Doctor: “The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.”
Patient: “24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the VERY bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window… “Pull over!”

“No,” she shouts back, “a pair of socks!”

They Love Me…They Really Love Me!

If we love the president we must pressure our legislators to vote for his jobs bill. Loving Obama is a great reason to pass a bill. That’s in the Constitution, right? If not, it should be.

The Prez must have his mojo back as the New York Post reported today, “More Americans want their member of Congress to vote in favor of the president’s jobs bill than against it by a 45% to 32% margin, according to a Gallup poll released Wednesday”.

Oh no! That’s terrible news for all us right-wing wackos. Or is it? Let’s take a gander at the poll, shall we?

First thing to learn about trusting poll numbers is who conducted it. Gallup is a red flag right off the bat. But let us break it down. Maybe I’m wrong? Wrong, yeah, that’s a good one.

Here is the verbatim question that was asked to the participants:
“How closely have you been following the news about President Obama’s jobs bill, which he outlined in a speech to Congress last Thursday night– very closely, somewhat closely, not too closely or not at all?”

Answers: Very Closely = 22%, Somewhat Closely = 34%, Not too Closely = 22%, Not at All = 21%, No Opinion = 2%
Huh? So the people who have been paying no attention at all are virtually equal to very attentive ones? Yet their opinion is counted.

Now let’s take a look at how they found these scholars.

The following is direct from Gallup:
Interviews are conducted with respondents on landline telephones and cellular phones, with interviews conducted in Spanish for respondents who are primarily Spanish-speaking. Each daily sample of 1,000 national adults includes a minimum quota of 400 cell phone respondents and 600 landline respondents, with additional minimum quotas among landline respondents by region. Landline numbers are chosen at random among listed telephone numbers; cell phone numbers are selected using random-digit dial methods. Landline respondents are chosen at random within each household on the basis of which member had the most recent birthday.

Samples are weighted by gender, age, race, Hispanic ethnicity, education, region, adults in the household, phone status (cell phone only/landline only/both, having an unlisted landline number, and cell phone mostly). Demographic weighting targets are based on the March 2010 Current Population Survey figures for the age 18+ non-institutionalized population living in U.S. telephone households. All reported margins of sampling error include the computed design effects for weighting and sample design.

Sounds like they just spoke with first schmo that answered the phone. No mention of citizenship. No question of their voting status. No sample narrowing at all.

This poll, as I suspected, is total Crap and is meant only to sway the general, Jersey Shore watching, uninvolved masses as well as scare the ill-informed and spineless Congress.

The President’s bill is a boondoggle, should not be passed and I don’t love him.

Joke of the Day

Think you may be having a Bad Day?

So this guy is sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half hour.

After a while, this big truck driver walks in & sits next to him. The trucker takes the guy’s drink and chugs it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that”, the guy says. “This is the worst day of my life. First, my alarm doesn’t go off and I’m late getting to my office. My boss was outraged & he fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I hailed a cab to go home, and then remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drove away.”

“I finally get home, and when I walk in, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was about to put an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

Wait…Did you hear Something?

The Obama campaign brainiacs have set up the website “Attack Watch”. It’s stated purpose is to “Challenge negative statements about the president made by Republican presidential candidates and conservatives”. Is this an isolated incident or glimpse into our future?

Might this be the precursor to Obama’s stated goal of 2008?
In 2008 then presidential candidate Barack Obama announced, “ We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.” What objectives would they be, I wonder?

It doesn’t sound at all ominous until you look back in history to discover another great socialist has done this before.
The APL (American Protective League) began under the Wilson Administration in 1917. Surprise, surprise! It was a private organization, that claimed to have over 250,000 members. They had what was called “semi official” status.
Assignments were given to the APL by the BOI (Bureau of Investigation, predecessor of the FBI) and by the War Department’s Intelligence Division to report on “seditious and disloyal” conversation. Now that sounds Constitutional.

From the authorized history of the APL comes this specimen case:
“Powers County, Colorado: investigated fifty cases of mouth-to-mouth propaganda, a notable cause being that of a German Lutheran minister who refused to answer the questions as to which side he wished to win the war (WWI). He asked for time. The next day he declared very promptly that he wanted the United States to win. He was instructed to prove this by preaching and praying it in private as well as in public, which he agreed to do.” I see nothing wrong with that. How about you?

The following is an excerpt from “The Authorized History of
The American Protective League” written in 1919.
“It is supposed that breaking and entering a man’s home or office without warrant is burglary. Granted. But the League has done that thousands of times and has never been detected! It is entirely naive and frank about that. It did not harm or unsettle any innocent man. It was after the guilty alone, and it was no time to mince matters or to pass fine phrases when the land was full of dangerous enemies in disguise. The League broke some little laws and precedents? Perhaps. But it upheld the great law under the great need of an unprecedented hour.” So, for the greater good, I guess that’s all right.

Will this “Attack Watch” silliness lead to anything more nefarious? I don’t know. I do know who our president is & those that surround him, so it gives me pause that this is an isolated incident.

Wheel – of – Your – Fortune

All you super rich. The dereliction of your pecuniary responsibilities has not gone unnoticed. Famous game show host Chuck Woolery gives all you GWL’s (Guilty White Liberals) a way to assuage that guilt. Just follow his simple instructions. The New York Times is certain to pen a glowing article of your heroics. Maybe even Time’s “Man of the Year”.

Joke of the Day

0 to 200

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really angry.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Another Debate

Ok, so I didn’t watch the republican debate last night. They had a lot of nerve scheduling it against Monday Night Football. And not just Monday Night Football, but the Patriots!

So now I have to play catch up.

Here’s what I’ve heard so far. It’s been confirmed for me; Romney is a big government progressive republican. He’s dropped any pretense of Tea Partyism. He’s gone full-bore for support of beltway hack republicans. I do agree with John McRomney on one thing. Social Security is not a Ponzi scheme. It’s much worse. You must opt into a Ponzi scheme & you may also opt out at any time. It’s purely voluntary. See the difference?

Should Mitt show up at any Tea Party event, he should be booed off the stage.

Ditto for Ron Paul. He’s wacked. His stance on Foreign Policy is so far gone, it’s no longer even amusing. I can see George Washington blaming the Continental Congress for Englands’ attack on us. That’s enough of that.

I’m glad to see Perry sticking to his guns regarding Social Security. He can win this argument if he can educate the dopes out there using the Galveston Model or, as Herman Cain extolled, the Chilean Model. I still can’t support Perry largely due to his immigration stance. That just flys in the face of the Tea Party.

At this point, and I’ll probably regret this but, I’m liking Newt a whole bunch. He’s tough, smart, articulate & has all the right answers. I need to find out if he’s had a come to Jesus moment and is truly the Newt of old, or just really good actor.

I’ll have more as I get further into it.

Joke du Jour

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”

The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

The lawyer cut him off once again saying, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”