Joke of the Day

Once upon a time Dracula decided he needed a sidekick. He devised a competition to find which is the finest bat to stand on his side.

So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks the most blood, will be the winner?

So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: “Congratulations, how did you do that?” The bat said: “Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family”. “Very good” said Dracula.

The second bat flies off and comes back about 5 minutes later, her entire face covered in blood. An astonished Dracula says, “How did you do that?” The bat replies ” Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drank the blood of all the children”. “Impressive” said Dracula.

Now, the third bat goes and comes back after 3 minutes literally covered in blood from head to toe. Dracula is stunned. “How on earth did you do that????” he asked. And the bat replies. “Do you see this tower?” Once again, Dracula replies with a yes.

And the bat says, “Well, I didn’t”.

And the Socialist of the Year goes to…….

Conyers in Atlanta

Could you imagine this speech to this group even 10 or 15 years ago? Open for all to see & hear & no one cares who sees or hears? How far we have sunk in such a short time.

At an awards ceremony of the Metro Atlanta Democratic Socialists of America, Michigan democrat representative John Conyers says, “This system, this capitalist system, is broken and may be nearly unrepairable, because the regulatory forces in the government are not willing to step to the plate.” He claims there aren’t any regulations on the brokers, banks & such because the regulators don’t know what they’re doing. He continues to explain to the group that the Occupy events are just like the early days of the civil rights struggle. He neglects to mention that they in the sixties were struggling almost exclusively against southern democrats, but I digress. Conyers claims, “We’re helping make America the democracy that it has yet to become. This is going to be the most important 12 months in American history in the 21st century.” Scary as that sounds, it may just be John.

Observation: Ever notice what the vocation of almost all these lefties is? Lawyers or law professors. Have anyone of these people ever been involved in a real business, ever made anything? Have they ever really dealt with the real world?

Back to Conyers. Come on John. There is not enough government regulation & oversight? Honestly? Who thinks that?

Dodd-Frank

Yes, that is what our government is known for, hands off policy. And saying that they want a democracy is admitting they don’t really understand what it is, or do know & that is worse. I think it is the latter. Those writing the rules and crafting the regulations know exactly what they’re doing.

The founders were quite clear of their feelings toward democracy. It’s mob rule.
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. I like that one. Some have attributed it to Ben Franklin, but I can’t confirm.

Franklin-Adams-Jefferson

Alexander Hamilton, “It had been observed that a pure democracy if it were practicable would be the most perfect government. Experience had proved that no position is more false than this. The ancient democracies in which the people themselves deliberated never possessed one good feature of government. Their very character was tyranny; their figure deformity.”

James Madison: “Democracy was the right of the people to choose their own tyrant
John Adams: “Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.”

James Madison: “Democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their death.”

Karl Marx: “Democracy is the road to socialism.”

In the long run throughout history you will find socialism is a myth. It is simply a bridge to some other form of rule. Socialism will eventually morph into communism or fascism.

According to Conyers & his ilk, this is indeed what they want. They hope to be the chosen tyrants.

Attribution: New Zeal

Joke of the Day

The Golden Toilet

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn’t quite
remember the address of the house. ”I’m sure this is the one,” said the driver. ”Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD”, replied one of the others. ”I’ll go knock on the door, and check. If it’s the wrong house, at least maybe they’ll let me use their toilet!”

So he gets out and walks to the front door. He rings it once….No answer. He rings it again…..still no answer. So, he thinks, ”This is a big house, big party, maybe the party is outside, in the backyard.” He walks around the house to the back, there was no one out there either. As he aproached the back door, he was suprized to find it unlocked, and opened. There was obviously no one home, so he figured he’d just quietly run inside real quick, and use there bathroom. No one would know.

He goes inside, it’s dark & he can’t find the bathroom anywhere. He runs up the stairs and searched, and searched, till finally as he opened a door to a small room, he was amazed to find a GOLDEN TOILET. He had never seen anything like it, but remembering that he was in a stranger’s house, and that they could at anytime return home, he quickly did his business and walked out.

As he got in the car, he excitedly told his friends of the AMAZING GOLDEN TOILET. His friends laughed in disbelief at his crazy tale. They pulled out of the driveway, mocking him. They argued the whole way to the party.

A couple of hours later, on the way home from the party, they drive past the house with the GOLDEN TOILET. The guy insists on stopping so he could prove to his friends the these people really did have a GOLDEN TOILET.

So the friends agree to check it out. They all walk up to the front door and ring the bell. A woman answers the door. ”Excuse me maam, but could you please let me show my friends here your GOLDEN TOILET, they don’t believe me!”
The woman replies, ”So YOU’RE the guy!”,then yells to her husband in the house, ”HONEY!?!…HERES THE GUY THAT CRAPPED IN YOUR TUBA!”’

Ridin the Pipeline

Not that Pipeline!

Let me begin by saying that I am not a scientist, but I am a thinker & can do actual research when it is necessary, although thoughtless clichéd talking points would take a lot less time.

If you haven’t heard, an oil company, Transcanada, wants to build an oil pipeline from the tar sands inside Canada travelling through several midwest states and ending up in Texas.

The proposed Keystone Gulf Coast Expansion Project is approximately 2,673-kilometers (1,661-miles)long. The 36-inch diameter crude oil pipeline would begin at Hardisty, Alberta and extend southeast through Saskatchewan, Montana, South Dakota and Nebraska. It would incorporate a portion of the Keystone Pipeline (Phase II) through Nebraska and Kansas to serve markets at Cushing, Oklahoma before continuing through Oklahoma to a delivery point near existing terminals in Nederland, Texas to serve the Port Arthur, Texas marketplace.

Sounds good, right? Aren’t we all looking for a path to energy independence? This is clearly one of those paths, not to mention all the private sector jobs it would create.

Evidently, we are not all looking for that. Here is just one more shining example of the green lobby standing in the way.

Todays environmentalist wacko reason is the preservation of the massive Ogallala aquifer.

Ogallala Aquifer

The Obama administration has decided to put the brakes on the project so that more environmental impact studies can be done. They say a decision will be made in 2013. The state of Nebraska is also trying to stop the pipeline or have it rerouted away for the aquifer. Great news. Environuts win over common sense again.

Digression: I believe the real reason for the delay is so as to not piss off one of their wacko voting blocks prior to an election. They are not doing well with the regular folks so they can’t afford to have any of the lefties sit the election out.

Because of the delay, Canada’s oil-sands industry could just decide to bypass U.S. markets altogether and sell fuel directly to China using a pipeline through western Canada to the shores of the Pacific.

The Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty says the decision to delay approval of the Keystone XL pipeline may kill the project and could add momentum to efforts to open up the Asian market for Canadian oil.

Jim Flaherty

“The decision to delay it that long is actually quite a crucial decision,” Flaherty told Bloomberg News at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in Honolulu. Flaherty adds, “I’m not sure this project would survive that kind of delay.”

Are we all hearing this? They are not just going to sit on their collective hands forever & they won’t bullied.

An industry consultant who headed the federal pipeline safety agency under the Bush administration said any changes probably would mean building a longer pipeline than TransCanada originally planned. That could expose the project to still more objections because a longer pipeline has more points at which it can fail.

“You could set this pipeline up for a death by a thousand cuts: Next, year, the new route’s not good enough,” consultant Brigham McCown said. “I’m very skeptical about the fairness of the process at this point.” You are right to be skeptical. The most vocal opponents plan to keep up their fight regardless of the route.

The environmental group Friends of the Earth are among those most vocal opponents.
“I don’t think there is an alternative route that solves the problems of this project,” said Damon Moglen, the group’s climate director.

Lefty eviroloon James Hanson wrote in the publication Alternet about the pipeline, “It will be game over for the planet”. The whole planet? Really James? Oh, guess who funds the aforementioned Alternet? The devil himself, George Soros.

What makes this worse is David & Charles Koch, yes the evil conservative Koch Brothers, are investors in the Keystone project. These devils want to front their own money on this project instead of receiving a government grant or loan guarantees. What’s wrong with these people?

It is abundantly clear to me. These groups want this project killed, whatever the cost. No oil, no security, no jobs.

Just how much oil? The pipeline will provide between 500,000 to 700,000 barrels of oil a day.

Just how many jobs? There are many and varied estimates on the amount of jobs it would create in the U.S.
I’ve seen anywhere from 1,000 to 50,000. The industry consensus is about 20-30,000. The good people opposing the pipeline have estimated no more 6,000. So let’s just find a happy medium & say about 15,000 new jobs. That’s not bad. The best part is they are private sector jobs. We don’t need to borrow from the Chicoms, & the treasury doesn’t need to print any more Monopoly money.

These are also, I guarantee, not minimum wage jobs. These people will have to buy food, housing, transportation, clothing, entertainment, etc. How many more jobs will that create, thousands?

But what about the Aquifer? An oil spill would certainly ruin it for all time (just ask James Hanson).

The short explanation involves rate of percolation, deep drainage, recharge rates & such.

The aquifer is found from 15 to 90 meters (50 to 300 feet) below the land surface.

Groundwater recharge or deep drainage or deep percolation is a hydrologic process where water moves downward from surface water to groundwater & to the saturated zone. Recharge & percolation rates vary by amount of precipitation, soil type, vegetation cover and being that this region is semi arid, averages less than 25 millimeters (1 inch) annually for the region as a whole.

Nonscientist, commonsense alert: So if surface water barely percolates to the aquifer, how would oil, which is lighter than water? If there were to be an oil spill, it seems to me, they would have more than ample time to clean up the spill before it got anywhere close to the saturation zone.

So let’s see if I have this straight. We can’t drill in Alaska, off the west coast, off the Atlantic coast. The gulf drilling has been severely hampered due to the bogus BP, end of the world environmental disaster.
Have we heard anything of the BP spill? No? Wonder why? Because it had almost no lasting impact on the environment. Mother earth cleaned it up almost entirely by her little self. Oil, a naturally occurring substance was cleaned up by other naturally occurring substances.

Now we can’t move someone else’s oil across our country. Next they’ll us we can’t harvest whales for our lanterns.

Joke of the Day

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, they connect, and end up leaving together.

They get back to his place and he shows her around his apartment. She notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears.

There are dozens of cute small bears on a shelf just above the floor.

Medium-sized bears line a shelf a little higher and huge soft bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is kind of surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially ones that are so expensive. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, so decides not to comment.

She turns to him… they kiss… and then they rip each other’s clothes off and make mad passionate love. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how was it?”

The man says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

Is Cain Able?

The following clip aired on Mark Levin’s radio show this past Monday. Why have we not heard any of this? We are so quick to condemn & abandon what could be a very good & honest man. We don’t know. If it is left to the Drive By Media, the truth will never come out.

Why is no one asking questions of these women? Once again we have journalistic malpractice on parade.

Why does Ms. Bialek need to employ any attorney, much less the well-known publicity hound, Gloria Allred? She’s not going to sue Mr. Cain. If one is telling the truth, what’s the lawyer for?

The great conservative sage, Karl Rove says that Allred “gives Ms. Bialek’s charges and accusations a little bit of credibility, and that’s what we’re talking about here — credibility.” Really Karl?
It’s common knowledge, or at least should be, that Karl is a progressive republican, just like his former boss, ‘W’. It is also bloody obvious Rove hates the Tea Party & anyone we may give a modicum of support to.

I don’t know if Cain is who these women say he is & neither does anyone else. I do know that if these charges were made against our president there would be nothing but silence & excuses. The accusers would be persecuted relentlessly (eg. Clinton).

Is there not a single major media journalist with the courage to look into these stories?

Now we have woman number 2, Karen Kraushaar. She made a sexual harassment claim against Cain in 1999. Kraushaar is in the current employ of the Obama Justice Department. Mere coincidence.

A few years later, working for the INS (Immigration & Naturalization Service), she filed another complaint. It wasn’t for harassment. She was in a car accident in 2002. She made requests to work from home, but apparently was not seriously enough hurt, so the request was denied. She then filed a claim for several 10’s of thousands of dollars, a year-long fellowship at Harvard University, a pay raise & all her sick time reinstated. By the way, she was not hurt on the job.

When asked about that incident she claimed it was a “relatively minor” claim & couldn’t recall the details. Really? But I bet you recall every detail of the Cain encounter some 3-4 years earlier.

She did sign a confidentiality agreement regarding the alledged Cain harrassment. When did that lapse? Cain has run for office before. Why wait for now?

I’m quite sure we will have a circus press conference with more than just these two women & their attorneys. I am also sure there will be no questions of credibility asked.

Ask all the questions of Herman Cain that can be reasonably asked, but do a little investigation of the accusers. Let’s find the truth. He has volunteered to take a lie detector test. Have they?

Here is an interesting update. Evidently, Mr. Cain has already taken a lie detector test of sorts, and so has Ms. Bialek. Watch this.

In closing, if the truth ever does reveal itself, I bet we’ll find Cain to be innocent & these women have been put up to this by someone like Axelrod, Daley or maybe even Rove.

Attribution: CBS News, The Blaze.com.

Joke of the Day


A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

The lady was so angry that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, “That’s not good,” and promised he wouldn’t say it again.

That night the store manager fitted the bird with a shock collar that would electrocute & kill it when activated.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, “Hey lady”, glancing over to the manager with his finger on the button.

She paused and said, “Yes?”

The bird said, “Lookin Good!”