Joke of the Day

Three old men were sitting around and talking.

The 80 year-old said, “The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again.”

The 85 year-old said, “The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it’s still a problem.”

Then the 90 year-old said, “That’s not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel movement.

The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7:00 am

Hooray for Allen West

From Daniel Halper of The Weekly Standard:

Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.), a former Army lieutenant colonel, sends THE WEEKLY STANDARD an email commenting on the Marines’ video, and has given us permission to publish it.

“I have sat back and assessed the incident with the video of our Marines urinating on Taliban corpses. I do not recall any self-righteous indignation when our Delta snipers Shugart and Gordon had their bodies dragged through Mogadishu. Neither do I recall media outrage and condemnation of our Blackwater security contractors being killed, their bodies burned, and hung from a bridge in Fallujah.

“All these over-emotional pundits and armchair quarterbacks need to chill. Does anyone remember the two Soldiers from the 101st Airborne Division who were beheaded and gutted in Iraq?

“The Marines were wrong. Give them a maximum punishment under field grade level Article 15 (non-judicial punishment), place a General Officer level letter of reprimand in their personnel file, and have them in full dress uniform stand before their Battalion, each personally apologize to God, Country, and Corps videotaped and conclude by singing the full US Marine Corps Hymn without a teleprompter.

“As for everyone else, unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth, war is hell.”

End: Weekly Standard Article

What is a General Officer level letter?

A General Officer level letter or LOR (Letter of Reprimand), is an administrative censure or “chewing out” given to a soldier for a failure to comply with established standards.
It may be filed in either ones Military Personnel Record Jacket (MPRJ) or Official Military Personnel File (OMPF).

A LOR filed in a soldier’s MPRJ can only be made by an enlisted soldier’s immediate commander (or a higher commander in his/her chain of command), school commandant, any general officer or an officer exercising general court-martial jurisdiction over the soldier. Letters
filed in your MPRJ may remain for up to three years or until you are reassigned to a new general court-martial jurisdiction, whichever is sooner.

A LOR filed in a soldier’s OMPF, regardless of the issuing authority, can only be filed upon the order of a general officer senior to the soldier, or by direction of an officer having general court-martial jurisdiction over the soldier. Letters filed in your OMPF are permanently placed in the performance fiche (P-fiche), and may adversely affect your military career in the future. Moreover, the LOR is also placed in your MPRJ as long as it remains in your P-fiche.

So what is an Article 15?

Within the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) is a provision for punishing misconduct through judicial proceedings like a court-martial.
The UCMJ also gives commanders the authority to impose nonjudicial punishment, described in the UCMJ under Article 15. Article 15 provides commanders an essential tool in maintaining discipline. The Article allows commanders to impose punishment for relatively minor infractions. Only commanders may impose punishment under Article 15. A commander is any warrant officer or commissioned officer that is in command of a unit and has been given authority under AR 600-20, either orally or in writing, to administer nonjudical punishment.

Article 15s come in different levels: Summarized, Company Grade and Field Grade. They differ in two main respects: the severity of the punishment and in how the record of it can affect a soldier’s future in the Military.

Maximum Punishments In Article 15:

Joke of the Day

An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife.

She says, “Well what was that for?”

He says, “That’s for 40 years of rotten sex!”

She doesn’t reply and they start rocking again.

All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.

He says, “Well what was that for?”

She says, “That’s for knowing the difference!”

Joke of the Day

A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, “Grandpa, please make a frog noise.”

The Grandpa says, “No.”
The little boy goes on, “Please .. please make a frog noise.”
The Grandpa says, “No, now go play.”

The little boy then says to his sister, “Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise.”

So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, “Please make a frog noise.”

The Grandpa says, “I just told your brother ‘no’ and I’m telling you ‘no’.” The little girl says, “Please .. please Grandpa make a frog noise.” The Grandpa says, “Why do you want me to make a frog noise?”

The little girl replied, “Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!”

The EPA Must Just Hate Us All

This may cause blood to shoot out of your eyes. As Glenn Beck says; this is a true “Duct Tape” moment.

These people have to go!!

From EPAabuse.com:

The EPA has brought surface mining to a halt in Appalachia, allegedly to protect the Mayfly. In surface mining, the miners put the rock and dirt in the surrounding areas or valleys. When water flows through these areas, it can become saltier. The salt may be harmful to Mayflies. It is not harmful to humans.

What’s a Mayfly? It’s a tiny insect that lives in a larvae stage in water for as long as three years. As an adult, it has no usable mouth and usually lives no longer than three hours. The females reproduce during that brief time and then die. In short, these are essentially worthless insects.

To the EPA and the environmentalists, however, the existence of the Mayfly is excuse enough to shut down coal mining in one area of our nation. Lisa Jackson and Obama are willing to sacrifice an abundant source of energy to protect a bug that lives only three hours to lay more eggs.

Ah, but there’s more.

In Nebraska, environmentalists are busy protecting the American burying beetle from the evils of the Keystone XL pipeline. The burying beetle (Nicorphorus americanus) in Nebraska makes its home in the Sand Hills – a route contemplated by the TransCanada corporation for the pipeline.

Because of the beetle, the TransCanada corp. is overhauling its plans so it can avoid the beetle habitat. The company had originally agreed to pledge $2 million to encourage ranching practices that protected the beetles or to purchase land that would be managed for the beetles.
Wyatt Hoback, a University of Nebraska biology professor was actually hired by TransCanada to work with his students to trap and move 2,400 beetles from the original pipeline path, which cut across 100 miles of the Sand Hills.

Hoback’s relocation project for burying beetles was covered on “Dirty Jobs” on the Discovery Channel.

Imagine this: Three environmental groups actually filed a federal lawsuit challenging the relocation program for these endangered beetles! Apparently, it’s not even permissible to move a bug from where they live to a safe location where they won’t be crushed by bulldozers.

The burying beetle’s Sand Hills home is safe from the evil pipeline.
Once TransCanada locates another route through Nebraska, rest assured that some bug-loving lunatic will find yet another bug, mouse, tic, plant or endangered rock formation to protect from the wicked energy producers.

And, you can expect that the EPA will jump on whatever excuse it can find to stop energy production in the U.S. It is clear that Lisa Jackson and her radical allies love bugs more than humans.

Joke of the Day

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.

The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.

The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem.

She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said,”This is for washing our hair”.

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.

“The curlers are on me.”

Conservatives Rule??

From The Blaze:

While many elements of society seem to surely be shifting ever-further to the left of the political spectrum, a recent Gallup poll released Thursday reveals otherwise. According to the survey, conservatives continue to make up the largest political segment in the country, outnumbering liberals nearly two-to-one.

The Gallup poll shows that 40 percent of Americans consider themselves conservative; 35 percent moderate; and 21 percent view themselves as liberal. The figures are no different than they were in 2010 and conservatives have outnumbered both moderates and liberals for three years running now.

Politico adds:

Conservatives began outstripping moderates in 2008, and the percentage of moderates has declined steadily over the last two decades, from 43 percent 1992 to 35 percent in 2011.

In fact, both self-identified conservatives and liberals have risen in number since the early 1990s, indicating a growing polarization in American politics.

While self-identified conservatives dominate the Republican Party, making up 71 percent, the Democratic Party is more split – 39 percent of Democrats view themselves as liberal, and 38 percent consider themselves moderates.

It might be worth noting that, per the poll’s findings, independents are mainly moderate (41 percent), but veer more towards conservatism (35 percent) than liberalism (20 percent).

The Gallup poll was conducted with 20,392 respondents and allows for a margin of error of plus or minus one.

Editorial Comment: Sorry to be a downer, but I personally am not buying any of this. If this poll is even close to accurate, how is it we keep electing and reelecting, squishy, middle of the road moderates. How is our frontrunning presidential candidate, “Thoroughly Moderate Mitt”.

Maybe it’s conservatives fear of losing that overshadows their better judgement? I don’t know what it is. All I know is that I am conservative & I am disappointed every election cycle.

Affordable Waiver

We haven’t heard much lately about all those Obamacare waivers that have been granted.

We all remember the waivers given to companies & unions that couldn’t afford Obama’s “Affordable Care Act”.

Friday marks the last time HHS (Health & Human Services) will have to update the total number of waivers, putting to rest a recurring political firestorm.

The department had been updating its waiver totals every month, prompting monthly attacks from the GOP, posted by Sam Baker of The Hill.

All told, 1,231 companies applied for and received waivers from the law’s restrictions on annual benefit caps.

The law requires plans to gradually raise their benefit limits, and all annual limits will become illegal in 2014. Companies that received waivers can keep their caps intact until 2014.

Republicans say the need for waivers proves that the healthcare law is unworkable. HHS argues that the waivers show the law provides flexibility.

I wasn’t aware waiver & flexible were synonymous, so I looked them up & son of gun, they’re not.

Flexible: susceptible of modification or adaptation; adaptable

Waiver: an intentional relinquishment of some right, interest, or the like.

So flexibility means to modify & waiver means to drop all together. Hmmm.

Let’s see just how “flexible” our government has been.

The Daily Caller reports the documents released in a classic Friday afternoon news dump show that labor unions representing 543,812 workers received waivers from President Barack Obama‘s signature legislation since June 17, 2011.

By contrast, private employers with a total of 69,813 employees, many of whom work for small businesses, were granted waivers.

That’s pretty flexible. So flexible it seems, they bent over backwards, for some. Must be double jointed.