Joke of the Day

The newlywed Blonde went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker she received as a wedding gift.

The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; Plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.

A few weeks later the woman was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked the coffee maker.

“Wonderful!” she replied, “But… it’s just awfully inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee.”

It’s Nice to be Friends


By John Hayward at Human Events:

When President Obama, who is normally a great proponent of “infrastructure” projects, made his bizarre decision to block the Keystone XL pipeline project, I wondered if he might have been induced to create those thousands of American jobs if the oil could be moved by his beloved high-speed rail.

As it turns out, oil is already moved from northern latitudes, such as the booming oil fields of North Dakota, down to the Gulf of Mexico by rail of the old, low-speed variety. Fortunately, as Newt Gingrich pointed out during the Monday night Republican debate in Florida, the oil is on private land, so Obama can’t shut production down.

Shipping the oil with a pipeline would have significantly reduced costs, as an Associated Press report explains:

Billions of dollars of infrastructure improvements have been made in recent years to allow North Dakota’s oil shipping capacity to keep pace with the skyrocketing production. North Dakota is the nation’s fourth-biggest oil producer and is expected to trail only Texas in crude output within the next year.

Alison Ritter, a spokeswoman for the state Department of Mineral Resources, said the state’s so-called takeaway capacity is adequate, though producers and the state were counting on the on the Keystone XL to move North Dakota crude.

Shipping crude by pipeline in North Dakota adds up to $1.50 to its cost, compared to $2 or more a barrel for rail shipments, producers say.

“Oil that would have moved by the Keystone XL is now going to shift to rail transportation,” Ritter said.

Amusingly, a spokesman for the Sierra Club admitted “there is no question that [transporting] oil by rail or truck is much more dangerous than a pipeline,” but that didn’t stop the zero-growth eco-fanatics from calling in their chips with President Downgrade to kill that pipeline.

Those rail shipments are expected to “increase exponentially with increased oil production and the shortage of pipelines,” according to Justin Kringstad, director of the North Dakota Pipeline Authority. That’s going to be quite a windfall for the railroad companies, isn’t it?

I hereby dub thee, Friend of Obama.

As it happens, 75 percent of the oil currently shipped by rail out of North Dakota is handled by Burlington Northern Santa Fe LLC… which just happens to be a unit of Warren Buffett’s company, Berkshire Hathaway Inc. What a coincidence!

For some reason, nobody from BNSF or Berkshire Hathaway would return the AP’s telephone calls, but oilman Harold Hamm told them he was sure this was just a wonderful “lucky break” for Barack Obama’s favorite billionaire, who is “certainly favored by this decision.” I’ve heard Buffett’s famously overtaxed secretary will be a guest at the State of the Union address tonight. Maybe someone could ask her about it.

The “tax me more” refrain from liberal billionaires is one of the oldest sucker games in the book. For the well-connected, the money that can be made through government power – whether by influencing corrupt politicians, or merely predicting what they’re going to do – dwarfs whatever income they offer to cough up.

Military Wife

It’s not just hard on those who actually deploy.

Notes on having a husband deployed in Afghanistan
By Morgan deBoer

WHEN I PICTURE IT happening, I envision myself as a 1960s housewife. I’m wearing a Betty Draper-style dress and an apron instead of the more likely yoga pants and t-shirt. My hair and makeup are done and I’m vacuuming or maybe rolling out a pie crust. I’m home. It’s daytime and two men in khakis come to my door and hand me a note that says my husband has been killed in action. Then they leave. And I’m alone.

The first time my husband deployed, I drove home from the airfield, laid myself down on the living room floor, called my mom and asked, “Can I die from this?” When I imagine what it would feel like for me to actually lose him, I almost can’t breathe.

He is in Afghanistan now and I think about the reality of his dangerous job 100 times a day. I daydream outrageous scenarios all the time, like winning Best New Artist at the Country Music Awards. But losing my husband, or a friend, is an actual possibility. According to the DOD report, as of 17 Janurary, 4,421 service members have been killed in Operation Iraqi Freedom and 1,864 in Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan).

When it actually happens, they say, someone will come to your house so quickly that you won’t have time to worry. What if I’m at work? They’ll come to your work. What if I’m at the grocery store? They’ll wait at your house. What if I’m sleeping and I can’t hear them? They knock loud.

Four days after my husband left this time, I was awoken by my cell phone ringing sometime around midnight.

“Hello?”

“Hello Mrs. deBoer. I’m calling to inform you that…”

An officer at my husband’s command told me that there was a serious injury on my husband’s team and then, I swear to God, the longest thirty seconds of my life passed before he said “your husband was not hurt.”

He told me that there was nothing I could do yet, except spread the word that only one person was injured and he was alive in serious condition. He told me the wounded sailor’s name and said I could call back if I needed anything.

I got out of bed and sat on the living room floor and cried.

My husband is on a team of 18 men. I have met about half of them during this training cycle, and I don’t know any of them well.

I met the now injured sailor once when my husband and I drove him to the airfield the day he deployed. There was no major sendoff, it was just us, at 10pm dropping two guys off in a parking lot on a big military base. One grabbed his bags, shook my husband’s hand, and walked away.

The other grabbed his bags, shook my husband’s hand, and looked at me and said, “Can you be my…” and I gave him a hug, and patted his back, and said, “Please be safe.” And he is now recovering from a traumatic brain injury. He has a wife, and a baby, and they lived in my neighborhood.

Don’t forget to thank those who serve, have served & those left behind. It may be tougher on them. After all, they’ve had no training.

Attribution: Bev

Joke of the Day

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education.

He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense…

Deputy says, “License and registration, please.”

Lawyer says, “What for?”

Deputy says, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign .”

Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

Deputy says, “You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration, please.”

Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Deputy says, “The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”

Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket.”

Deputy says, “Exit your vehicle, sir.”

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the crap out of the lawyer and says: “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”

Deja Vu, All Over Again

Obama 2010: “It’s time for colleges and universities to get serious about cutting their own costs.

Obama 2012: “Colleges and universities have to do their part by working to keep costs down.”

***

Obama 2010: “And we should continue the work by fixing our broken immigration system.”

Obama 2011: “I strongly believe that we should take on, once and for all, the issue of illegal immigration.”

Obama 2012: “I believe as strongly as ever that we should take on illegal immigration.”

***

Obama 2010: “We face a deficit of trust.”

Obama 2012: “I’ve talked tonight about the deficit of trust . . .”

***

Obama 2010: “We can’t wage a perpetual campaign.”

Obama 2012: “We need to end the notion that the two parties must be locked in a perpetual campaign.”

Attribution: Weekly Standard

George the Clairvoyant

From SHTFplan:

From time to time we get a peek inside the mind of a true insider. George Soros knows a thing or two about destabilization and far from equilibrium situations. He’s been on the giving and receiving ends of both.
From surviving the Nazi occupation of Hungary during World War II, to single handily crashing the currencies of entire nations, the experience he brings to the table should not be ignored.

With his deep connections in economic and political circles, if there’s anyone who knows what’s coming next, it’s Soros.

In his book The Crash of 2008 and What It Means, Soros warned that no matter what governments did, there was no way out of the trap in which the world – namely The United States – finds itself:

“So what does the end of an era really mean? I contend that it means the end of a long period of relative stability based on the United States as the dominant power and the dollar as the main international reserve currency. I foresee a period of political and financial instability, hopefully to be followed by the emergence of a new world order.”

Nearly four years on, the crisis, according to Soros, is now very much teetering on the edge of the instability he forecast in his book:

Via The Daily Beast:

For the first time in his 60-year career, Soros, now 81, admits
he is not sure what to do. “It’s very hard to know how you can be right, given the damage that was done during the boom years,” Soros says. He won’t discuss his portfolio, lest anyone think he’s talking things down to make a buck.

Has the great short seller gone soft? Well, yes. Sitting in his 33rd-floor corner office high above Seventh Avenue in New York, preparing for his trip to Davos, he is more concerned with surviving than staying rich.

“At times like these, survival is the most important thing,” he says, peering through his owlish glasses and brushing wisps of gray hair off his forehead. He doesn’t just mean it’s time to protect your assets. He means it’s time to stave off disaster. As he sees it, the world faces one of the most dangerous periods of modern history—a period of “evil.”

Europe is confronting a descent into chaos and conflict. In America he predicts riots on the streets that will
lead to a brutal clampdown that will dramatically curtail civil liberties. The global economic system could even collapse altogether.

“I am not here to cheer you up. The situation is about as serious and difficult as I’ve experienced in my career,” Soros tells Newsweek. “We are facing an extremely difficult time, comparable in many ways to the 1930s, the Great Depression. We are facing now a general retrenchment in the developed world, which threatens to put us in a decade of more stagnation, or worse. The best-case scenario is a deflationary environment. The worst-case scenario is a collapse of the financial system.”

Soros draws on his past to argue that the global economic crisis is as significant, and unpredictable, as the end of communism. “The collapse of the Soviet system was a pretty extraordinary event, and we are currently experiencing something similar in the developed world, without fully realizing what’s happening.”

As anger rises, riots on th
e streets of American cities are inevitable. “Yes, yes, yes,” he says, almost gleefully. The response to the unrest could be more damaging than the violence itself. “It will be an excuse for cracking down and using strong-arm tactics to maintain law and order, which, carried to an extreme, could bring about a repressive political system, a society where individual liberty is much more constrained, which would be a break with the tradition of the United States.”

One of the leading financial minds and policy influencers in the world has just outlined the best and worst case outcomes for this crisis, and both of them are disastrous.

We cannot stress enough to our readers that, despite the many criticisms, Mr. Soros knows what he’s talking about. He is connected to all of the major players on all levels – economic, financial, political – you name it.

He has gone so far as to suggest that the consequences for America are a complete breakdown in law and order, riots in the streets, financial collapse, and a repressive government response.

Even the best and the brightest don’t know what to do, other than to duck and cover.

It’s coming, and it can’t be stopped.

Editorial Comment: You all know how I feel about George Soros. He may actually be the Devil. He is, I agree, about as well-connected as anyone on earth. Many

of us like-minded people have been warning of this possibility & preparing for it. I don’t know what will happen, nor does anyone else.

Recently & by sheer coincidence I’m sure, Obama signed the NDAA, the National Defense Authorization Act. Buried in this law is the fact that the Commander-in-Chief can have anyone, citizen or non, pulled off the street, dragged away & detained for as long as they wish, without being charged.

What’s Ann Been Smokin?

What’s Happened to Ann Coulter?
From Godfather Politics:

On a Sunday morning appearance on “Fox & Friends,” conservative columnist Ann Coulter tried unsuccessfully to explain why Romney got beaten by Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina GOP presidential primary. Here’s what she said:

“Apparently, South Carolinians would rather have the emotional satisfaction of a snotty remark toward the president than to beat Obama in the fall.”

When I first heard this, I thought the article was about Catherine Coulter, the mystery writer.

Ann Coulter is the queen of the “snotty remark.” Her entire career has been built on the quick retort, the turn of a clever phrase, and buckets of snotty remarks. Coulter is the epitome of the put down. She has described herself as a polemicist who likes to “stir up the pot” and does not “pretend to be impartial or balanced, as broadcasters do.”

Consider some of her books: Slander, Treason, and Godless. They are appropriately snotty titles. Maybe Coulter
doesn’t like the competition from a politician who can out-snot her.

Who is Coulter supporting? Romney. You all know the run-down on Romney. This is not to say that Gingrich doesn’t have his own load of excess baggage. What many people like about Gingrich is that he’s not afraid to take on the media.

Something has happened to Coulter in the past year or two. She began to move leftward. Maybe she was trying to broaden her speaking options. She used to get pies in the face by liberal groups. Now she’s invited to speak at their conferences.

For example, she spoke at GOProud’s HOMOCON
2010. This engagement resulted in her removal from World Net Daily’s “Taking America Back” conference. It is unfortunate that Coulter is willing to be a vehicle of legitimacy for a group that certainly goes against the foundation of conservatism.

Joseph Farah, editor and chief executive officer of WND, had this to say about the incident:

“Ultimately, as a matter of principle, it would not make sense for us to have Ann speak to a conference about ‘taking America back’ when she clearly does not recognize that the ideals to be espoused there simply do not include the radical and very ‘unconservative’ agenda represented by GOProud. The drift of the conservative movement to a brand of materialistic libertarianism is one of the main reasons we planned this conference from the beginning.”

Asked by Farah why she was speaking to GOProud, Coulter said: “They hired me to give a speech, so I’m giving a speech. I do it all the time.”

She went on to say, “I speak to a lot of groups and do not endorse them. I speak at Harvard and I certainly don’t endorse their views. I’ve spoken to Democratic groups and liberal Republican groups that loooove abortion.”

Soon after, Coulter joined the board of the pro-homosexual GOProud. “I am honored to serve in this capacity on GOProud’s Advisory Council, and look forward to being the queen of fabulous,” Coulter said in a statement.

Coulter can’t be trusted as a reliable conservative voice.

Joke of the Day

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I will not sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.

She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?”