Joke of the Day

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

“The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

I Saw Lincoln at the Theatre

A rare TV appearance of the last surviving person to witness the assassination of Abraham Lincoln’s assassination has turned up on YouTube.

The video is from a February 1956 episode of the TV game show I’ve Got a Secret.

The show involved a notable person with a celebrity panel whose job it was to guess the secret behind what made the guest so famous.

The video begins with host Garry Moore walking backstage to help an elderly man make his entrance.

The man, who has a bandage on his head,  introduces himself: ‘Samuel J. Seymour. I’m from Maryland.’

Moore explains that the man had fallen down some stairs in his hotel room and gave himself a black eye.

‘We urged him not to come onto the show tonight as a matter of fact. We finally got in touch with his doctor, and the doctor said it was up to Mr Seymour. Mr  Seymour said he wouldn’t miss it, so here he is,’ Moore says to  applause.

The secret flashes on the screen: ‘I saw John  Wilkes Booth shoot Abraham Lincoln (April 14, 1865).’

Mr Seymour appeared on the show about two years after his story was written in the pages of the Milwaukee Sentinel, in which he recounted the day Lincoln was assassinated.

Moore, speaking for Mr Seymour, said that the  man, who was five years old at the time, did not realize Lincoln had been shot,  only that he saw a man jump from the balcony.

That man, of course, was John Wilkes Booth,  the assassin.

‘I was scared to death,’ Mr Seymour  says.

Although the celebrity panel was able to  guess the secret, Mr Seymour was given the $80 prize and a can of Prince Albert  pipe tobacco for appearing on the show.

Mr Seymour died on April 12, 1956, about two  months after appearing on ‘I’ve Got a Secret.’

Attribution: Mail Online

Taxing Ammo

Chicago Figures Out Cause of Homicides: Untaxed Bullets

by:

Chicago residents worried about the city’s soaring homicide rate can rest easy. After painstaking consideration during what was no doubt many rounds of double martinis, officials are at last ready with an answer.

Just tax bullets, says Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle. She has announced she will submit a budget proposal next week that would slap a nickel tax on each bullet sold and $25 per firearm.

Chicago’s crime families immediately went into conference to examine the results of Preckwinkle’s proposal on their budgets and announced they would have to cut back gun murders by at least 15 percent and shift some more business into the concrete galoshes department to compensate.

Clearly, officials have the bad guys on the run.

I have a theory that most liberal grownups were once those children who somehow always lost when playing cops and robbers:

Future conservative: “Bang! Bang! You’re dead!”

Future liberal: “Am not!”

F.C.: “Are too!”

F.L.: “Darn! One day, I will get even! I’ll ban your guns!”

F.C.: “Bang! Bang! You’re double dead!

So far this year, Chicago has racked up 409 homicides compared with 324 during the same period in 2011.

Officials estimate the tax would bring in about $1 million to the cash-strapped city, but denied that the proposal was just about creating more revenue.

Richard Pearson, the executive director of the Illinois State Rifle Association, had to point out the obvious, that the tax wouldn’t do anything to address gang violence.

“If she wants to get to the people causing all the problems she ought to put a tax on street gangs,” he said. “All this is going to do is drive business out of Cook County, into other counties, Indiana and Wisconsin.”

But Pearson and other critics are looking at the situation without the benefit of the liberals’ world view, in which guns kill people and criminals are law abiding citizens.

If Chicago really wants to get tough with criminals, maybe officials should consider resorting to the ultimate crimefightiing tool: a rolled up newspaper and a stern “No!”

I’m sure that would work.

Vote Twice

Katie Pavlichby: Katie Pavlich at Townhall

New video from Project Veritas shows an Obama for America campaign staffer providing advice and a ballot to an undercover reporter posing as an Obama activist about how to vote twice in the upcoming presidential election. The activist tells Obama for America Houston Director Stephanie Caballero, who is a salaried employee of the Democratic National Committee, she wants to vote in Texas and in Florida.

Former DOJ Attorney Christian Adams explains the legality of the situation.

Obama campaign attorney Robert Bauer should be emailing memos to every paid staffer detailing 42 USC 1973i(e) and 42 USC § 1973gg–10(2). The former federal law makes it illegal to vote twice. The latter law prohibits fraudulent voting in a federal election. 18 USC 2 makes it illegal to aid and abet election fraud.

Encouraging voter participation of marginal legality is nothing new for the Obama campaign. In 2008, they had an elaborate web portal for college students, encouraging some to register to vote where they went to school, discouraging others. The overall goal was to get students attending college in battleground states registered to vote in those states regardless of their actual domicile. If a student from a battleground state went to college in a safe red or blue state, they were encouraged to keep their registration in their home battleground state.

The Obama campaign website in 2008 never told the students to cancel their original voter registration. Nor did it provide guidelines for what constituted bona fide domicile.

Currently, voter watchdog groups like True the Vote are conducting data crunching to determine who may have violated federal election law in 2008 by voting in two states for President. If someone does it again in 2012, it will eventually be caught thanks to the efforts of private parties combing voter rolls.

The Obama for America will spin this story by throwing Caballero under the bus and will say she is an inexperienced staffer. The problem is, Caballero is the director of the Obama for America Houston office pulling a salary. Caballero isn’t an inexperienced staffer or volunteer, not to mention, Caballero’s response to the questions about voting twice should have been, “You can’t do that and it’s illegal.” Instead, Caballero giggled and encouraged double voting in Texas and the swing state of Florida.

UPDATE: Watchdog.org has more information about the violation of statutes.

Federally, 42 USC § 1973gg is the strongest as it penalizes attempts to deprive residents of a fair election through false voter registration forms. 42 USC 1973i(c) is your other strong bet. There are more (like the antiquated 18 USC 597), but these 1973gg and 1973i(c) are your strongest federal options.

Remember, policing election integrity occurs first at the state level, then goes up to the federal level. Under Texas law, pay attention to Section 273.001 of the Texas Election Code. It provides that if two or more registered voters present affidavits alleging criminal conduct in connection with the election to the county prosecutor, he shall investigate the matter. If the conduct concerns activities beyond one county, the state attorney general may be properly involved.

And Texas imposes duties upon state registrars to ensure that voter registration forms are complete and true — see Tex. Elec. Code 15.021, 15.112, 15.051(a). Texas election law also permits voting contests to occur when there is evidence of fraud or mistake in connection with the administration of an election (e.g. registering false voters). See Tex. Elec. Code 221.003

Here’s the October Surprise!

Obama cuts deal with Iran over Nukes

from: WND

Iranian and U.S. negotiators have reached an agreement that calls for Iran to halt part of its nuclear program in exchange for the lifting of many of the U.S. sanctions against the Islamic regime, according to a highly placed source.

Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, expects a letter from President Obama in a few days guaranteeing the details of the agreement, arrived at recently during secret negotiations in Doha, Qatar.

The source, who remains anonymous for security reasons and is highly placed in Iran’s regime, said that once Khamenei receives Obama’s guarantees, he will authorize an announcement by Iran on a solution to the nuclear crisis before the U.S. presidential elections.

The agreement calls for Iran to announce a temporary halt to partial uranium enrichment after which the U.S. will remove many of its sanctions, including those on the Iranian central bank, no later than by the Iranian New Year in March. Iran is in the throes of massive inflation and citizen unrest because of the sanctions.

French intelligence verified today that Yukiya Amano, the current director general of the International Atomic Energy Agency, has been given the go-ahead by the U.S. to be ready to travel to Iran and announce the agreement, according to Hamid Reza Zakeri, a former intelligence officer in the regime who has defected to Europe.

The source in Tehran said Khamenei has made it clear that unless he receives Obama’s written guarantees, he will not begin the process, which would dramatically boost Obama’s re-election chances. If the guarantees are not given, Khamenei has warned, Iran will speed up its nuclear program.

The guarantees would ensure the regime’s right to peaceful enrichment, quickly remove many of the sanctions, accept that Iran’s nuclear program does not have a military dimension and relieve international pressure on the regime while it continues its nuclear program. Also, the U.S. would announce that the killing of Iranian nuclear scientists was the work of a foreign country, though Israel would not be named, to increase legal pressure on Israel.

According to the Iranian source, a previous Obama letter to Khamenei indicated that it’s best for the regime not to give any motive to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s government to attack Iran’s nuclear facilities, a message that was re-emphasized in the Qatar negotiations.

As reported exclusively by WND Oct. 4, a three-person delegation led by a woman on behalf of the Obama administration traveled to Qatar about Oct. 1 and met with Iranian counterparts, including Ali Akbar Velayati, the former foreign minister of the Islamic regime and a close adviser to Khamenei on international matters.

In the meeting, according to the source, the U.S. delegation urged an announcement, even if only on a temporary nuclear deal, before the U.S. elections to help Obama get re-elected. A Romney presidency, the delegation said, would surely move more toward Israel, and the Iranians were reminded that Obama has stood up to Israel against any plans to attack Iran. The regime’s delegate was urged to understand that if Iran does not stand by Obama, Israel will attack Iran.

Days after the WND report, Ali Akbar Salehi, the regime’s foreign minister, in an interview with the German magazine Der Spiegel, stated, “If our right to enrichment is guaranteed, we are prepared to offer an exchange.”

The same message was relayed by several other officials of the regime.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said recently in Kazakhstan that the sanctions can be lifted immediately if Tehran worked with world powers to address questions about its nuclear program.

In the Qatar meeting, according to the Iranian source, the American woman delegate, who has had several meetings with Velayati during the past several years, jokingly told Velayati that she will be the next secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development in a second Obama administration and that it would be wise for Iranians to invest in U.S. real estate.

In the past five months, four meetings were held in the U.S. with the Islamic regime’s surrogates to hash out what was to be discussed at the Doha meeting. The source identified Valerie Jarrett, a senior Obama adviser (and radical), as the head of the U.S. effort to engage Iran. Also identified was Cyrus Amir Mokri, assistant secretary of the Treasury Department for financial institutions, as another member advising the president on the issue.

Jarrett’s family has known the Velayati family since their stay in Iran in the 1950s, the source added. Jarrett’s father worked at the Namazi hospital in Shiraz, owned by an Iranian family that has been influential with the regime after the Islamic Revolution.

WND contacted both the U.S. State Department and the White House, asking about the Doha negotiations, who led the delegation from the U.S., whether Obama will provide the written guarantee, what negotiations the U.S. has pursued on its own and what is known about Amano’s plan to travel to Iran for the announcement.

The State Department declined to respond to multiple calls as well as email inquiries. A spokeswoman said the White House would not comment.

The European Union, which increased sanctions on Iran last week, fears back-channel negotiations between the Obama administration and Iran will leave it out. EU leaders are seeking to send a group of representatives from seven European countries to Tehran to strengthen their position with the regime over the nuclear program and their economic interests.

The Iranian currency, meanwhile, has hit another historic low, falling to 43,000 rials to one U.S. dollar. As reported recently, a secret memo by the Intelligence Ministry to regime officials has warned of major riots in Iran due to dire economic conditions.

Another internal report by the government’s Economic Commission indicated that government foreign currency reserves will run out in the coming months and that it will have difficulty meeting payrolls for public employees who could lose 50 percent of their pay.

Many within the Iranian opposition believe that if the West continues to pressure the Islamic regime and supports the aspirations of the majority of the Iranian people who resent the regime and its ideology, the regime will face a nationwide uprising and will collapse from within, changing the geopolitics of not only the region but the world.

However, if the regime is provided a lifeline for whatever reason, not only will it get the bomb but it will take Iranians and the world hostage for decades to come, they believe.

And an, oh by the way: An Oct. 8 WND report revealed another secret nuclear site in Iran. The regime’s nuclear scientists have successfully completed testing of a neutron detonator and have nearly completed design of a nuclear warhead.

Now, let me see a show of hands who think Iran will live up to the agreement after the election. You’re a moron if you raised your hand. Maybe they’ll tape it to the top of a warhead.

Could this be a more obvious attempt by Obama to win reelection? It is and he is despicable.

The Liondrome

As far as extreme sports go, this may seem a little much.

These vintage images capture dare devil bikers driving motorcycles around a so-called ‘wall of death’, built perpendicular to the floor.

That’s dangerous enough without adding the lions on board the vehicles, which sit neatly perched in makeshift side-cars as spectators gather to watch in awe.

Dangerous: A dare devil circles around the wood board motordrome with a lion in his cart
Wind-swept: Perched on the edge of the vehicle, the lion is driven around the 'Wall of death' at speeds as high as 80mph

 Perched on the edge of the vehicle, the lion is driven around the ‘wall of death’ at speeds as high as 80mph

Captured between the 1920s and 1960s, the  photographs, which feature on the Retronaut  website, show an event that became one of the most daring acts at fairgrounds and carnivals in the early 1900s in America.

The motorcycle craze – which peaked in the  1930s – began with single drivers circling around a wood-paneled motordrome at high speeds and completely vertical.

Over a hundred ‘walls of death’, as they became known, were traveling the states by the 1930s.

Circles: Taken in the mid-1900s, this photograph snaps a lioness roaring angrily at the driver of the vehicle

Taken in the mid-1900s, this photograph snaps a lioness roaring angrily at the driver of the vehicle
Extreme motorcycle shows became one of the most daring acts at fairgrounds and carnivals in the early 1910s in America

Extreme motorcycle shows became one of the most daring acts at fairgrounds and carnivals in the early 1910s in America

As organizers increased the angle of the walls throughout the years, making them more steep, the number of serious accidents increased.

One of the most popular versions of  the sport was nicknamed the ‘Liondrome’, so-called  because it featured a rider accompanied by a tamed lion.

Traveling with a lion was always risky business – as captured in these photographs – where lions and lionesses are seen letting out gigantic roars.

A man and his pet lion: The cub looks a tad grumpy as it rests on the motorcycle ahead of the show

A man and his pet lion: The cub looks a tad grumpy as it rests on the motorcycle ahead of the show
'Death riders and racing lion': A signed photograph of a lion and the courageous riders

‘Death riders and racing lion’: A signed photograph of a lion and the courageous riders

The drivers placed the animals in side-cars, unless they were small enough, in which case the lions were sometimes placed on the rider’s lap.

One of the most difficult parts of the stunt was to induce the lion to remain quiet  throughout the event.

After a number of accidents in which riders were injured or killed, it was decided the sport had become too dangerous and it ended.

Attribution: Mail Online

Joke of the Day

Two blondes, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street. Carol noticed a makeup compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up.

She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” Patty said, “Let me look!” So Carol handed her the Compact. Patty looked in the mirror and said,”Of course she looks familiar you dummy, it’s me!

America in Their Sights

On October 9th, North Korea warned that mainland America is now within range of its missiles as it accused the U.S. of conspiring with South Korea.

It comes after Seoul, South Korea, announced that it has reached a deal with Washington allowing it to nearly triple the range of its missiles to better cope with North Korean nuclear threats.

North Korea claims the move proves that the allies are plotting to invade the country, calling the deal a ‘product of another conspiracy of the master and the  stooge’ to ‘ignite a war’ against the North.

Warning: North Korea, which displayed an array of missiles during a military parade in honour of the 100th birthday of the late North Korean leader Kim Il-Sung in Pyongyang, claims it has missiles capable of reaching mainland AmericaDisplaying an array of  missiles during a military parade in honor of the 100th birthday of the late  North Korean leader Kim Il-Sung in Pyongyang
South Korea, pictured displaying missiles with a maximum range of 180 kilometers during a parade marking the country's Armed Forces Day in Seoul, has made a deal with the U.S. to nearly triple the range of its missilesA parade marking the country’s Armed Forces Day  in Seoul

In a statement carried by the official Korean Central News Agency, a spokesman at the powerful National Defense Commission said the North would bolster its military preparedness.

He said: ‘We do not hide… the strategic rocket forces are keeping within the scope of strike not only the bases of the puppet forces and the US imperialist aggression forces’ bases in the inviolable land of Korea but also Japan, Guam and the US mainland.’

South Korea’s Defense Ministry said it has no official comment on the North’s statement but Seoul and Washington have repeatedly said they have no intention of attacking North Korea.

North Korean long-range rockets are believed  to have a range of up to about 4,160 miles (6,700km), putting parts of Alaska within reach, according to South Korea’s Defense Ministry.

But the North’s patchy record in test launches raises doubts about whether it is truly capable of an attack.

Launch pad: The Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies claims these structures represent gantry footings, a flame trench and propellant buildings for a new launch pad near the village of Musudan-ri on the northeast coast of North KoreaStructures represent gantry footings, a flame trench and propellant buildings for a new launch pad near the village of  Musudan-ri on the northeast coast of North Korea
Earlier launch: A rocket lifts off from Musudan-ri, North Korea, in 2009A rocket lifts off from Musudan-ri,  North Korea, in 2009

Pyongyang shocked Japan in 1998 when it sent a rocket over Japan’s main island and into the Pacific. That also alarmed Washington because about 50,000 US troops are deployed in Japan and their bases could be within the North’s range. Tokyo and Washington  have since intensified their ballistic missile defenses.

But the North’s most recent rocket launch, in April, ended in humiliating failure shortly after lift-off.

North Korea said it was trying to launch a satellite, but the US and other countries said it was actually a test of long-range missile technology.

The failure suggests that Pyongyang has yet to master the technology it needs to control multi-stage rockets, a key capability if it is to threaten the United States with intercontinental ballistic missiles.

And although North Korea is believed to have a small nuclear arsenal, experts do not believe it has mastered the miniaturization technology required to mount a nuclear weapon on a long-range rocket.

It is unusual for the North to say its missiles are capable of striking the US, but North Korea has regularly issued harsh rhetoric against Seoul and Washington.

Kim Jong-un pays a visit to Unit 158 of the navy of the North Korean People's Army.Kim Jong-un pays a visit to Unit 158 of the navy of the North Korean People’s Army
Deal: South Korean mock missiles are silhouetted at the Korea War Memorial Museum in Seoul, South Korea, as the country reveals the U.S. has agreed to allow it to develop longer-range missiles that could strike all of North KoreaSouth Korean mock missiles are silhouetted at the  Korea War Memorial Museum in Seoul, South Korea

Koh Yu-hwan, a North Korean studies professor based in Seoul, said the North had no choice but to respond to South Korea’s extended missile range but it is unlikely to launch a provocation, as it is waiting for the results of US and South Korean presidential  elections.

Under the new deal with the US, South Korea will be able to possess ballistic missiles with a range of up to 500 miles  (800km). South Korea will continue to limit the payload to 1,100lb (500kg) for  ballistic missiles with a 500-mile (800km) range, but it will be able to use heavier payloads for missiles with shorter ranges.

A previous 2001 accord with Washington had barred South Korea from deploying ballistic missiles with a range of more than 186 miles (300m) and a payload of more than 1,100lb (500kg) because of concerns about a regional arms race.

The Korean Peninsula remains officially at war because the 1950-53 Korean War ended with an armistice, not a peace treaty.  The US stations about 28,500 troops in South Korea as deterrence against possible aggression from North Korea.

Attribution: Mail Online

Wandering Luggage

As any frequent flyer knows, hauling around a passport, carry-on luggage and suitcase while navigating through an airport can be a real hassle, and the situation is made worse if the traveler in question has any physical health issues. Madrid-based designer Rodrigo Garcia Gonzalez has come up with an ingenious solution to this issue: a smart carry-on suitcase named Hop! which follows the traveler around automatically.

Hop! contains three receivers which communicate with an app running on the traveler’s smartphone, via Bluetooth. The Bluetooth data is processed by a micro-controller which calculates the position of the smartphone it is tasked to follow. The same micro-controller also directs a dual caterpillar track-type system on the underside of the smart-suitcase.

Hop! can be configured to follow a number of other Hop! units in a line, and should the smartphone signal be lost or interrupted somehow, the user will receive an alert, and the suitcase locks itself. In an age of increasingly security-conscious airports, there’s some obvious issues to an automatic hands-off carry-on ambling around an airport, but should the relevant authorities allow it, one can imagine such a device proving indispensable for disabled travelers, and convenient for the rest of us.

The smart luggage is manufactured to meet most airline cabin space requirements, measuring 55 x 40 x 20 cm (roughly 21 x 15 x 8 inches). Further to this, Gonzales states that the internal mechanism of his device doesn’t increase the weight of the case significantly, though we’ve received no hard figures on this.

While Hop! is still in development, Gonzalez tells us that he plans to mature his prototype and complement it with a larger suitcase, with a view to eventually bringing both to market.

The promo video below gives a sense of what using Hop! would be like.