Joke du Jour

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car.

 His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.”

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father’s study where his father said, “Son, I’ve been real proud of you.

You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”

The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair….”

To which his father replied, “Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!”

The Obama Fantasy

By Toby Harnden

A new biography of Barack Obama has established that his grandfather was not, as is related in the President’s own memoir, detained by the British in Kenya and found that claims that he was tortured were a fabrication.

‘Barack Obama: The Story’ by David Maraniss catalogues dozens of instances in which Obama deviated significantly from the truth in his book ‘Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance’. The 641-page book punctures the carefully-crafted narrative of Obama’s life.

One of the enduring myths of Obama’s ancestry is that his paternal grandfather Hussein Onyango Obama, who served as a cook in the British Army, was imprisoned in 1949 by the British for helping the anti-colonial Mau Mau rebels and held for several months.
Obama’s step-grandmother Sarah, Onyango wife, who is still living, is quoted in the future President’s memoir, as saying: ‘One day, the white man’s askaris came to take Onyango away, and he was placed in a detention camp.

 ‘But he had been in the camp for over six months, and when he returned to Alego he was very thin and dirty. He had difficulty walking, and his head was full of lice. He was so ashamed, he refused to enter his house or tell us what happened.’

In a 2008 interview, Sarah Obama claimed that he was ‘whipped every morning and evening’ by the British. ‘They would sometimes squeeze his testicles with metal rods. They also pierced his nails and buttocks with a sharp pin, with his hands and legs tied together. He was lucky to survive. Some of his fellow inmates were mutilated with castration pliers and beaten to death with clubs.’

But Maraniss, who researched Obama’s life in Kenya, Indonesia, Hawaii and the mainland United States, found that there were ‘no remaining records of any detention, imprisonment, or trial of Hussein Onyango Obama’. He interviewed five people who knew Obama’s grandfather, who died in 1979, who ‘doubted the story or were certain it did not happen’.
This undermines the received wisdom that Obama’s grandfather was a victim of oppression, an assumption that has in turn fuelled theories that Obama harbours an animus towards Britain based on a deeply-rooted rage about the way Onyango was treated.

John Ndalo Aguk, who worked with Onyango before the alleged imprisonment and was in touch with him weekly afterwards said he ‘knew nothing’ about any detention and would have noticed if he had gone missing for several months.

Zablon Okatch, who worked with Onyango as a servant to American diplomats after the supposed incarceration, said: ‘Hussein was never jailed. I know that for a fact. It would have been difficult for him to get a job with a white family, let alone a diplomat, if he once served in jail.’

Charles Oluoch, whose father was adopted by Onyango, said that ‘he did not have any trouble with the government in any way’.

Dick Opar, a relative by marriage to Onyango and a senior Kenyan police official, gave what Maraniss judged to be the most authoritative word. ‘People make up stories,’ he said. ‘If you get arrested, you say it was the fight for independence, but they are arrested for another thing.

‘I would have known. I would have known. If he was in Kamiti Prison for only a day, even if for a day, I would have known.’

Maraniss also casts a sceptical eye on Obama’s grandmother’s tales of racism in Kansas, doubting whether she was ever chastised for addressing a black janitor as ‘Mister’ or ridiculed for playing with a black girl.

Obama himself, Maraniss finds, deliberately distorted elements of his own life to fit into a racial narrative. The author writes that Obama presents himself in his memoir as ‘blacker and more disaffected’ than he really was.

The memoir ‘accentuates characters drawn from black acquaintances who played lesser roles his real life but could be used to advance a line of thought, while leaving out or distorting the actions of friends who happened to be white’.
 In the forward to his memoir, Obama wrote that ‘for the sake of compression, some of the characters that appear are composites of people I’ve known, and some events appear out of precise chronology’.

But Maraniss writes that Obama’s book is ‘literature and memoir, not history and autobiography’ and concludes: ‘The character creations and rearrangements of the book are not merely a matter of style, devices of compression, but are also substantive.’

Writing about his schooldays, Obama created a friend called Regina, a symbol of the authentic black American experience that Obama yearns for.

Maraniss found, however, that Regina was based on Caroline Boss, a white student leader at Occidental College. Regina was the name of Boss’s Swiss grandmother.

The book also notes that Obama removed two white roommates in Los Angeles and New York from his story. Obama himself told Maraniss in a 90-minute interview that a racial incident involving a New York girlfriend had in fact happened in Chicago.

A tale of the father of Obama’s Indonesian stepfather Soewarno Martodihardjo being killed by Dutch soldiers as he fought for Indonesian independence turns out to be ‘a concocted myth in almost all respects’, Maraniss finds.

According to the book, both Obama’s father and his paternal grandfather were abusive towards women and Maraniss finds that Obama’s story that he was abandoned by his father when he was two was false – in fact, Obama’s mother fled to Washington state a year earlier, possibly because she was being beaten.

A character in Obama’s memoir called Ray, portrayed as a symbol of young blackness, is in fact based on a fellow pupil who was half Japanese, part native American and part black and was not a close friend.

‘In the memoir Barry and Ray, could be heard complaining about how rich white haole [upper class white Hawaiian] girls would never date them. In fact, neither had much trouble in that regard.’

Obama notes of his own grandfather that he was apt to create ‘history to conform with the image he wished for himself’.

Maraniss, who also wrote an acclaimed biography of Bill Clinton, suggests that throughout his life Obama himself, following on from his forbears on both sides, has done the same thing.

Got Jobs?

Generation Opportunity, one of America’s largest organizations connecting with young adults through a strategy of social media outreach coupled with on-the-ground grassroots organizing, is today releasing the non-seasonally adjusted (NSA) 18-29 unemployment rate data for May:

· The youth unemployment rate for 18-29 year olds specifically (NSA) for May 2012 is 12.1 percent.

 · The declining labor participation rate has created an additional 1.7 million young adults that are not counted as “unemployed” by BLS because they are not in the labor force, meaning that those young people have given up looking for work due to the lack of jobs.

· If the labor force participation rate were factored into the overall 18-29 youth unemployment calculation, the actual 18-29-unemployment rate would rise to 16.9 percent (NSA).

Generation Opportunity President Paul T. Conway, former Chief of Staff of the United States Department of Labor, where the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) is housed, and the former Chief of Staff of the United States Office of Personnel Management (OPM) responds to the May 2012 jobs numbers:

 “The young adult unemployment rate, now at 12.1 percent for those 18-29 years old, represents yet another chapter in the indefensible saga of how a great generation is being denied economic opportunity, jobs, critical skills, and the ability to pursue their dreams.”

 “As summer begins, the ranks of all those frustrated by the lack of opportunities are joined by recent high school and college graduates.  Their enthusiasm to join the work force has been slammed by the same harsh economic status quo their brothers and sisters have been experiencing for the past few years – one marked by record high unemployment, a patchwork of part-time jobs, or jobs outside their chosen profession.

“Through no fault of their own, an increasing number of young Americans have begun to lose hope and have dropped out of the workforce entirely, disillusioned by the lack of jobs and dismayed at a White House that attacks America’s job creators and employers, while simultaneously putting Americans and their futures into deeper debt.”

“Today, we are calling on young Americans across the nation – all those who are unemployed, those who are working multiple part-time jobs, and those concerned about friends and family members who are themselves in this situation – to call the White House in the coming days and tell President Obama the time is now for real change. America can do better.”

 Generation Opportunity is encouraging its Facebook fans, as well as its thousands of grassroots supporters across the nation, to call the White House at (202) 456-1414 and demand that the policies of the last three and a half years, which have stifled job creation, be reversed in favor of policies that free up Americans to create jobs, to hire, and to restore the American tradition of access to opportunity for all. To see our Facebook call to action, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/BeingAmericanByGO

Adding insult to injury, our dear President plans to add another 800,000 (his estimate) illegals to an already suffering young workforce. My estimate is at least double, if not triple that number.

Of course, we know Obama doesn’t really care if these illegals actually find work. It’s for votes, not work.

Attribution: New York Post

Trickle Down Tyranny

from: The Blaze

If NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s dream to limit the size of sodas and other sweetened drinks has made people in New York angry, how will citizens of one Massachusetts city react if their elected official block all of these drinks, large and small in the city’s restaurants? The City of Cambridge, Massachusetts (the home of Harvard & MIT) has proposed such a thing.

Tuesday, the Mayor’s office sent a policy order stating:

“That the City Manager be and hereby is requested to refer the matter of a ban on soda and sugar-sweetened beverages in restaurants to the Cambridge Public Health Department for a recommendation.”

Apparently the Mayor believes that the citizens of Cambridge, Massachusetts are incapable of limiting their intake of soft drinks or “sugar-sweetened” beverages. Therefore, the only way to stop what he sees as an “increased risk of obesity and diabetes” is to ban (what they believe to be) the culprits.

Here is the official proposal, as seen on the Cambridge home page:

No Surfing at This Beach

Tucked away in a lush green meadow, this is quite possibly the weirdest beach you’re ever likely to see.

Gulpiyuri beach is an extraordinary stretch of shoreline near the town of Llanes in northern Spain, which boasts stunning crystal-clear salt waters that are even fully tidal.

Incredibly there are even waves lapping up against the 130 foot stretch of golden sand making the whole experience even more magical so it’s almost impossible to resist taking a dip, although the temperatures can be rather cold.

The beach is fed by salt water from the Bay of Biscay on the Cantabrian Sea. Over millions of years the waves eroded a series of tunnels under the cliffs which connect to the beach.

Gulpiyuri is hidden away in a series of gentle hills over 320 feet away from the sea. Despite it being hard to find it has become a mecca for tourists on weekends.

Attribution: Mail Online

Joke of the Day

Obviously written by a Woman

It’s Good to Be a Man!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don’t care if someone notices your new haircut.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s too “yucky.”

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5,000; tux rental $100.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars and bottles.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don’t rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

You underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don’t have to clean your house if the maid is coming.

You don’t mooch off other’s desserts; you order your own.

You don’t split small salad orders with your buddies – you often order two salads.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyles last for years – no, make that decades.

You don’t have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes equals one color for ALL seasons.

You can “do” your nails with your pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

Thank You Mr. President

by: the Common Constitutionalist

As conservatives, how many times have we cringed when we hear his name? How many times have we quietly pondered or said aloud, “How did this guy get elected?”

Of course, I’m speaking of “The One”, our beloved leader, Barack Millhous Obama. (Props to Mark Levin for that one).

We’ve whined, moaned and generally complained about the president. We don’t understand (those of us that did our homework prior to 2008) how this guy could have fooled so many people.

I guess that’s not entirely accurate. I understand quite well why so many voted for him.

He is, after all, our second black president; Bill Clinton being dubbed the first by author Toni Morrison in 1998.

People were understandably swept up in the moment. They wanted to be a part of history. It didn’t matter who he was. Again, that’s not accurate. It did matter.

Jesse Jackson ran for president in the 80’s and lost in the democrat primary. His problem was that people knew he was a dirt bag, race pimp, even back then. He simply had too much baggage; was too well known.

Millhous was an absolutely unknown quantity. He was a blank slate. He could be anything the public wanted him to be.

He had not been on the national scene long enough for most to conclude that he was a radical. He simply didn’t have the history nationally; not like those who had been around for decades, such as Ted Kennedy, Barney Fwank, sheets Byrd, etc.

People could project upon him anything they wished. He was to be the first post-racial, post-partisan president. He was to be the great uniter. The rest of the world would finally love us.

Then there were The GWL’s, or guilty white liberals. They would finally have the opportunity to prove they were not racists and assuage their guilt after all these years. Halleluiah! Gaia be praised!

I recall, as if it were yesterday, when Rush Limbaugh proclaimed, “I hope he fails”. Oh how, not only the liberal press, but also the supposedly conservative media pilloried him. All the talking heads ganged up on him, calling him racist and a divider.

Upon agreeing with him, I too, was not the most popular person in my circle of friends and colleagues. Unlike those in the press and the talking heads on TV and radio, I knew exactly what Rush meant for I had done some homework on Obama prior to the election. Rush, of course, didn’t care about the man and didn’t care about his color. He simply wanted Obama’s policies to fail.

One only needed to take a quick look at his friends, confidants and colleagues to know who he was. Heck, he started his presidential campaign in the home of unrepentant terrorist Bill Ayers. How many people do that? Answer: none one.

All that being said, Barack Milhous Obama’s presidency may end up being one of the greatest blessings that this country has seen in decades.

Without him there would be no Tea Party. Without Obama there would be no, as I see it, conservative revolution.

We would have ended up with another George Bush, in John McCain, the republican, big government progressive. We would have stayed asleep as more and more of our liberties were slowly strpped from us. McCain would have placed the frog (us) in cold water and turned up the heat. Obama had just decided to toss us (the frogs) into a pot of already boiling water, which shocked us from our slumber.

I can only speak for myself, but I have learned more about the history of this great nation in the past few years then I learned in all the previous.

I guess I should thank the president for that.

It is doubtful that without Obama I would not have done all that I have in such a short period of time, if ever. I’ve read the Federalist papers, studied the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. I know more about our founding fathers that I could have dreamed. I studied and now understand the evil of progressives and the progressive era.

In short, like most Americans, I was asleep most of my life.  It’s a shame that it took this to shake me into consciousness. Although I am speaking for myself, I’m quite sure that I simply echo the sentiments of millions of Americans.

In closing I would like to thank president Barack Milhous Obama for making me a better citizen, but only if he loses this next election. If he wins reelection we are all doomed anyway.

Duck Walk

A Chinese farmer caused chaos on the roads when he ducked out to feed his flock of 5,000.

Hong brought streets in the eastern city of Taizhou to a standstill when, accompanied by a colleague, he took his animals to a pond.

Armed with nothing but a cane, he guided his feathered friends three-quarters of a mile as part of an annual tradition in Zhejiang province.

And he claims that not one of the ducks was lost in transition during the tricky duck migration maneuver.

Taizhou lies 190 miles south of Shanghai and has a population of almost 6million people.

Attribution: Daily Mail