A Few Jokes


1)
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away. “Maybe your other models let you kiss them,” she said.

“I’ve never tried to kiss a model before,” he swore.

“Really?” she said, softening, “How many models have there been?”

“Four,” he replied, “A jug, two apples, and a vase.”

2)
A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.

“Well,” said the drunk, “it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.”
“Let me have it,” said the lawyer.

Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely.
“Yes,” he finally said, “it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don’t know what it is. Where did you get it?”

“From my nose,” the drunk replied.

3)
This Pun is so bad it must be shared!

Some friars needed to raise more money for books for the school, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.

He asked the good brothers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close.

Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that “Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.”

It’s Not the Jobs Silly, It’s the Number


We’re back. It’s done and they got the headline: “Unemployment, 8.6%!”

He did it. As promised, Obama is pulling us back from the brink. His policies are finally taking hold.

Well, as usual, nothing is as it seems.

The Labor Department says that employers added about 120,000 jobs this past month compared to the 80,000 added the previous month when we saw only a 0.1% drop in the unemployment rate. So an additional 40k equals 0.3%? I’m no mathematician, but…

I’m confused. In June of this year (a mere 5 months ago) the New York Times reported it would take 150,000 jobs added per month just to keep up with population growth & to keep the unemployment number from rising. Yet it went down. Huh?

There must be a reasonable explanation. I don’t know about reasonable, but here it is.

What was underreported was the number of people who have quit looking for work in the last month. It is 315,000, dwarfing the amount of hires.

So, just like magic, they’re no longer counted. Therefore, the universe of jobs available in the country is down by 315,000. That is the labor force participation rate. The labor force (workforce) participation rate is a meager 64%. It fell to 64% from 64.2%. So the 0.2% drop equals 315,000 people leaving the workforce.

I’ve written of the Workforce Participation Rate. It’s a measure of the active portion of an economy’s labor force. The participation rate refers to the number of people who are either employed or are actively looking for work. The number of people who are no longer actively searching for work are not included in the participation rate. In a poor economy, such as this, many people get discouraged and stop looking for employment and as a result, the participation rate decreases.

That small number of jobs created can lower unemployment rate 0.4%, almost one half of a percent? Creating 120,000 new jobs can do that? Yep. Isn’t fuzzy math fun?

That alone tells us how small the labor force participation rate is.

It also tells us how small the universe of available jobs in the country is, when creating 120,000 can have that seemingly large effect, and we still had over 400,000 applications for unemployment compensation reported yesterday. So just 120,000 new jobs can lower the unemployment rate almost a half a point.

Also, as always happens, that 120,000 number will be quietly revised down at a later date. Don’t look for it to be reported.

I’d bet, if one were to look at that 120k, they would find most of those jobs are seasonal hires. That means they won’t exist in January.

It will be interesting to see, after the Holidays, what kind of wacky accounting tricks the Administration uses to keep that already bogus number under 9%.

Maybe they can hope that many more people just give up?
That would work.

Attribution: Calculated Risk, Godfather Politics, Drudge

Couple of Jokes


Joke 1: During a bank robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.
He looked at a man and asked, “Did you see my face?”
The man said, “Yes!” The robber shot him.
Then he asked a woman, “Did you see my face?”
She said, “No, but my boss over there did.”

Joke 2: Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on, Jim slips something into Paul’s hand. Without looking down, Paul whispers, “What is this?”

Jim replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.”

Rules of Enragement

The other night, I was watching a television show called Bomb Patrol Afghanistan EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal). It was about our military EOD personnel that patrol areas of Afghanistan for IED’s & other explosive devices used to kill & injure our troops.

It was quite interesting to see the technology at their disposal & the bravery it takes just to be out there on patrol.

Sadly, this is not the purpose of this article. Throughout the program I was dumbstruck regarding what seemed to be the Rules of Engagement for our guys.

What put me over the edge was a portion of the show highlighting soldiers that had obtained a tip of an explosive vest being dropped off on a bridge to be picked up by another party. The soldiers waited for hours. No drop occurred. They then received a tip that the drop would happen that evening in a different area.

Next, we see the guys in their Humvees. It’s pitch black & they are using their nightvision equipment.

Afghanistan-Kunar Night Patrol

They are watching one individual beside a car in the desert with the trunk open. He picks up the explosive vest, places it in his trunk & begins driving. The soldiers explain the vehicle is now effectively a car bomb, which could be driven directly at them.

They follow him, where he stops, drops the vest off on the side of the road & drives away. The soldiers begin to prep explosives inside their vehicle. One soldier steps out with the explosives in hand, walks up to vest in the dark, places the explosives on or near the vest & heads back to the vehicle. They detonate the vest & continue on.

I’m thinking to myself, what the crap is going on here? What are the Rules of Engagement over there?

It seems to me, the second the guy picked up the vest, he is the enemy. Open fire & take him out, detonating the vest at the same time. Letting him drive away should not be an option.

In 2009, the ROEs (Rules of Engagement) were as follows: The actual ROEs are said to be classified U.S. and NATO secrets,

Official Rules of Engagement

but based on individual soldier accounts, those restrictions included the following:
No night or surprise searches

Villagers are to be warned prior to searches

Afghan National Army or Afghan National Police must accompany U.S. units on searches

U.S. soldiers may not fire at insurgents unless they are preparing to fire first

U.S. forces cannot engage insurgents if civilians are present

Only women can search women

Troops can fire on insurgents if they catch them placing an improvised explosive device but not if insurgents walk away from where the explosives are.

Troops cannot fire on insurgents that lower or drop their weapons and walk or run away (leaving them, of course, to return later to continue to try to kill our troops).

After General Petraeus replaced Gen. McChrystal, the ROEs were supposed to have been modified to make it easier for our troops but little has changed.

What the Rules Should Be


According to soldiers’ accounts, the enemy knows these rules & they use them to their advantage all the time. Soldiers describe it as going into battle with one arm tied behind your back.

In one case, villagers had tipped off U.S. forces of the presence of a Taliban commander who was threatening village elders.

To get permission to go after him, U.S. troops had to get 11 separate Afghan, U.S. and international forces’ approval to the plan. The approval, however, did not come until well into the next day. By then, the Taliban commander had moved on, to the consternation of the villagers who had provided the tip. Observers have claimed that it can take some 96 hours to acquire all the permissions to act.

In another case, insurgents planting an IED had detected the presence of U.S. forces and immediately began leaving the area, tossing evidence of their preparations along the way. U.S. forces could not fire on them.

In still another case, 4 Taliban fighters were firing at a group of Marines from a mud hut in an Afghan town. When they were finished shooting (maybe they ran out of ammo), they simply laid down their weapons, walked out of the building & blended into the population. The Marines could not fire on them.

Let me just go out on a limb here and say, we will never win a war again. Bring all the troops home. When we put more emphasis on the safety of everyone but ourselves, we might as well give up and come home.

If our politicians insist on sending our military all over the globe to fight, let them fight. Let them bring overwhelming force to the enemy, claim victory & then come home.

We have the greatest fighting force in history. Just imagine what they could do if they were ever truly unleashed.

Joke of the Day

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, “What will it be?”
The man replied “a burger and a coke.” “And you?” “I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. “That will be $4.50,” The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Fri.
“The usual?” she asked. “No, today is Friday. I’ll have steak and a coke.”
“Me too.” says the ostrich. They finish and pay. “That will be $10.95”
The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
The waitress was dumb-founded. “How is it that you always have the exact amount?”
“Well,” says the man. “I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared.” Wow!” said the waitress. “What did you wish for?”
“I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket.” “Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what’s with the ostrich?” “Well,” said the man. “I also asked for a chick with long legs.”

No Cops on Campus!

Most of us have seen the Occupy UC Berkeley protest, where the Police just walked up to the seated innocent students & showered them, unprovoked, with pepper spray. That’s the one the drive by media showed us. Below is the raw video showing the run up to the event. Clearly, these dolts were being led & clearly the police had little choice. I think they showed a lot more patience than I would have.

The video is a bit long, but stick with it. The pictures tell a much different story than the media has or ever will.

One Question: Why is there no effort to find & interview the leader of these chanting buffoons? Is he a student or, as I suspect, some outside agitator sent in to stir the dimwited student body to a frenzy in order to achieve the desired end, which was of course, the claim of police abuse.

Joke of the Day

Another Classic!

It has been raining hard in the Mississippi Valley, and the rising river begins to threaten all manner of private homes, including that of the local Reverend.

With water coming into the ground floor, a rowboat with police comes by, and the officer shouts, “Reverend, let us evacuate you! The water level is getting dangerous.”

The Reverend replies, “No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me.” Three hours go by, and the rains intensify, at which point the Reverend is forced up to the second floor of his house. A second police rowboat comes by, and the officer shouts, “Reverend, let us evacuate you! The water level is getting dangerous.”

The Reverend replies, “No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me.”

The rain does not stop, and the Reverend is forced up onto the roof of his house. A helicopter flies over, and the officer shouts down, “Reverend, grab the rope and we’ll pull you up! You’re in terrible danger!”

The Reverend replies, “No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me.”
The deluge continues, and the Reverend is swept off the roof, carried away in the current and drowns. He goes up to heaven, and at the Pearly Gates he is admitted, and comes before the Divine Presence.

The Reverend asks, “Dear Lord, I don’t understand. I’ve been a righteous observant person my whole life, and depended on you to save me in my hour of need. Where were you?”

And the Lord answered, “I sent two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”