Joke of the Day

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his car in the lot and walked home.

As he was stumbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.

‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.

‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.

‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.

Election Watchdog

by:  of The Blaze

A nonpartisan election integrity group has sent legal notices to 160 counties across the U.S. that it says have more voters on its registration rolls than actual live, eligible voters — and thus represent potential hotbeds for election fraud, the organization told TheBlaze exclusively.True the Vote 160 counties more than 100 percent voter registration

The Houston-based True the Vote said the counties may be in violation of Section 8 of the National Voter Registration Act, which mandates that election officials maintain clean voter rolls by removing people who have died, moved away or are no longer eligible to vote. True the Vote is demanding each of the counties show proof of compliance or they’ll bring civil suit.

The counties in question are spread across 19 states that together account for 203 electoral college votes, including six current battleground states. Among the counties are LaSalle, Ill., which True the Vote identified as having 520 percent voter registration; Jefferson, Miss. with more than 230 percent; and Hanson, S.D. with 165 percent.

True the Vote Sends Notice to 160 Counties It Says Have More Than 100 Percent Voter Registration

 (Image source: True the Vote)

“It’s simply unacceptable for any county to have more voters on its rolls than people who are alive and eligible to vote,” True the Vote President Catherine Engelbrecht said in a statement. “Failing to maintain accurate voter registration records is a flagrant violation of Section 8 in the NVRA.”

Joke of the Day

Sergeant Thomas: When you are frightened, what do you do?

Private Joe: Keep on fighting!

Sergeant Thomas: You better. And if the enemy shoots off your right ear, what do you do?

Private Joe: Keep on fighting!

Sergeant Thomas: Good. But if the enemy also shoots off your left ear, what then?

Private Joe: Then I can’t see.

Sergeant Thomas: Can’t see? Where did you get your education, private?

Private Joe: Well sergeant, if both my ears are gone my helmet falls down…over my eyes.

How to Build a Sandcastle

If want to build the perfect sandcastle, put down your bucket and spade.

Physicists who have studied the science of sandcastles say that our hands are the best tools.

While buckets and spades are useful for collecting sand, they could be stopping you from constructing your dream castle

This is because neither is ideal for producing the highly compacted sand that is crucial for giving the structures strength.

The advice comes from scientists who carried out a number of experiments on how to construct the perfect sandcastle.

They began by looking at how much water is needed to produce one that will not collapse from being too soggy or crumble from being too dry.

Physicist Peder Moller said: ‘We used some fancy instruments but effectively we put some sand in a cup and inserted a spoon and started to twist the sands a bit and measured how hard it was to twist.

‘We found that one bucket of water to 50 buckets of sand gave the highest strength.’

At this ratio, the water forms strong bridges between the sand grains.

Their experiments, described in the journal Scientific Reports, show that the size of the sand grains have little effect on the overall result.

However, compaction is very important, with sand that is well-packed up to 30 per cent stronger.

This is where the advice about buckets and spades comes in.

While it is easy to compress sand in a bucket, the structure becomes much looser on tipping out, said Dr Moller, of the Laboratoire de Physique Statistique de ENS in Paris.

And thumping the sand with a spade produces an uneven result.

Dr Moller said: ‘Buckets and spades can be great for larger constructions.

‘But compacting with a spade is not optimal since it tends to introduce fractures in the sand’s structure rather than compact it.

‘Ideally I would use spades and buckets to build a mound that has all the height of your dream castle while compacting (with hand) during piling.

‘Then finally carve away the residual sand that hides the magnificent castle inside.’

The scientists also calculated the maximum height for cylindrical sandcastles with bases of various sizes.

For instance, if the base has a diameter of 16inches, the sandcastle will topple if it is more than 8ft in height.

To build a sandcastle twice as high as one you’ve made already, you will need make the base roughly three times wider.

Attribution: Daily Mail

“The Obama Scandal is at Columbia”

by: Wayne Allyn Root

I was President Obama’s classmate at Columbia University, Class of ’83. I am also one of the most accurate Las Vegas oddsmakers and prognosticators. Accurate enough that I was awarded my own star on the Las Vegas Walk of Stars. And I smell something rotten in Denmark. Obama has a big skeleton in his closet. It’s his college records. Call it “gut instinct” but my gut is almost always right. Obama has a secret hidden at Columbia- and it’s a bad one that threatens to bring down his Presidency. Gut instinct is how I’ve made my living for 29 years since graduating Columbia.

Obama and his infamous strategist David Axelrod understand how to play political hardball, the best its ever been played. Team Obama has decided to distract America’s voters by condemning Mitt Romney for not releasing enough years of his tax returns. It’s the perfect cover. Obama knows the best defense is a bold offense. Just keep attacking Mitt and blaming him for secrecy and evasion, while accusing him of having a scandal that doesn’t exist. Then ask your lapdog Senator Harry Reid to chase the Frisbee. The U.S. Senate Majority Leader is now making up stories out of thin air, about tax returns he knows nothing about. It’s a cynical, brilliant and vicious strategy. Make Romney defend, so he can’t attack the real Obama scandal.

Harry Reid, The Cowardly Liar

This is classic Axelrod. Obama has won several elections in his career by slandering his opponents and leaking sealed documents. Not only do these insinuations and leaks ruin the credibility and reputation of Obama’s opponents, they keep them on the defensive and off Obama’s trail of sealed documents.

By attacking Romney’s tax records, Obama’s socialist cabal creates a problem that doesn’t exist. Is the U.S. Senate Majority Leader making up stories out of thin air? You decide. But the reason for this baseless attack is clear- make Romney defend, so not only is he “off message” but it helps the media ignore the real Obama scandal.

But I have the answer for Romney. A challenge that shuts up Obama forever.

It’s time to call Obama’s bluff. Romney should call a press conference and issue a challenge in front of the nation. He should agree to release more of his tax returns, only if Obama unseals his college records. Simple and straight-forward. Mitt should ask “What could possibly be so embarrassing in your college records from 29 years ago, that you are afraid to let America’s voters see it? If it’s THAT bad, maybe it’s something the voters ought to see.” Suddenly the tables are turned. Now Obama is on the defensive.

My bet is that Obama will never unseal his records- never…EVER. Because they contain information that could destroy his chances for re-election. Once this challenge is made public, my prediction is you’ll never hear about Mitt’s tax returns ever again. End of story.

But why are the college records, of a 51 year old President of the United States, so important to keep secret? I think I know the answer.

If anyone should have questions about Obama’s record at Columbia University, it’s me. We both graduated (according to Obama) Columbia University, Class of ’83. We were both (according to Obama) Pre-Law and Political Science majors. And I thought I knew most everyone at Columbia. I certainly thought I’d heard of all of my fellow Political Science majors. But not Obama (or as he was known then- Barry Soetoro). I never met him. Never saw him. Never even heard of him. And none of the classmates that I knew at Columbia has ever met him, saw him, or heard of him.

But don’t take my word for it. The Wall Street Journal reported in 2008 that Fox News randomly called 400 of our Columbia classmates and never found one who had ever met Obama.

Now all of this mystery could be easily and instantly dismissed if Obama released his Columbia transcripts to the media. But even after serving as President for 3 1/2 years he refuses to unseal his college records. Shouldn’t the media be as relentless in pursuit of Obama’s records as Romney’s? Shouldn’t they be digging for Obama’s dirt with the same boundless enthusiasm as Mitt’s?

The first question I’d ask is, if you had great grades, why would you seal your records? So let’s assume Obama got poor grades. Why not release the records? He’s President of the free world, for gosh sakes. He’s commander-in-chief of the U.S. military. Who’d care about some poor grades from three decades ago, right? So then what’s the problem? Doesn’t that make the media suspicious? Something doesn’t add up.

Secondly, if he had poor grades at Occidental, how did he get admitted to an Ivy League university in the first place? And if his grades at Columbia were awful, how’d he ever get into Harvard Law School? So again those grades must have been great, right? So why spend millions to keep them sealed?

Third, how did a poor kid pay for all these fancy schools? If he had student loans or scholarships, don’t American students need good grades to maintain student loans?

I can only think of one answer that would explain this mystery.

So here’s my gut. I believe Obama got a leg up by being admitted to both Occidental and Columbia as a foreign exchange student. He was raised as a young boy in Indonesia. Did his mother ever change him back to a U.S. citizen? I’m betting not. He was abandoned by his mother and sent back to Hawaii to live with his grandparents. No one was paying much attention to young Obama, so his citizenship was never changed back. But suddenly as he nears college-age Obama learns that foreign students have a much easier path being admitted to U.S. universities. And even more amazingly, they get loads of aid and scholarships to attend college for free- something unavailable to U.S. citizens.

So a plan is hatched. Obama uses his Indonesian passport and citizenship to get into college. Suddenly even Ivy League Columbia University is a possibility- for a foreign student from Indonesia. And it’s all paid for by the taxpayers.

That would explain how a poor student who rarely attended class and got mediocre grades, and with no money, was able to get accepted and pay for Occidental, Columbia and Harvard Law. The door magically opened for a foreign student with an exotic background.

The sad reality is there is some U.S. student- a Valedictorian of his or her school- who never got to go to Columbia or Harvard Law because Barry Soetoro took their place.

That would also explain the great mystery of how in the summer of 1981 Barry Soetoro was able to travel to Pakistan when no U.S. citizen was allowed to travel there. Did he use his Indonesian passport?

Of course a foreign student isn’t qualified to serve as President of the United States. So that secret had to be sealed and covered up for the rest of all time. In 2007 everything happened so fast no one could even ask questions…ask Hillary! That explains why a sitting President of the United States would spend millions of dollars in legal fees to keep his past sealed.

If you could unseal Obama’s Columbia University records I believe you’d find that:

A) He rarely ever attended class.

B) His grades were not those typical of what we understand it takes to get into Harvard Law School.

C) He attended Columbia as a foreign exchange student.

D) He never paid for either undergraduate college or Harvard Law School because of foreign aid and scholarships given to a poor foreigner like this kid Barry Soetoro from Indonesia

And lastly, why do his classmates at Columbia not remember Obama? Was he a ghost? Did he never show up at class? My educated guess is that he was too busy smoking pot, attending Marxist meetings, and plotting the destruction of the U.S. economy and the overthrow of capitalism. Don’t laugh. It’s working.

If you think I’m “fishing” then prove me wrong. Open up your records Mr. President. What are you afraid of?

If it’s okay for U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to go on a fishing expedition about Romney’s taxes (even though he knows absolutely nothing about them), then I think I can do the same thing. But as Obama’s Columbia Class of ’83 classmate, at least I have more standing to make educated guesses.

It’s time for Mitt to go on the attack and call Obama’s bluff.

Oh and one more thing Mitt. Tell Harry Reid you’ll release all of your tax returns when Harry Reid releases all of his. Inquiring minds want to know how Harry Reid entered the U.S. Senate with no assets and became one of the wealthiest United States Senators?

Backfire?

by: Tony Lee

When Media Matters helped organize the Stop Rush boycott pressuring corporations to pull advertisements from Rush Limbaugh’s show, the online file storage company Carbonite was one of the first big names to give in.

Now, as William Jacobson of the “Legal Insurrection” blog noted, Carbonite’s CEO David Friend conceded on a conference call that dropping Limbaugh deeply hurt the company’s earnings.

“It turned out to be a bigger hole in our revenue than we had thought when we initially did this,” Friend said on a conference call on August 1.

In fact, as Jacobson wrote, Carbonite’s 2nd Quarter 2012 results shocked analysts, causing the company’s stock price to plummet by 15% in one day.

Jacobson transcribed the relevant portions of the conference call where Friend said four factors contributed to the company’s slow growth, and the first factor was that Carbonite “stopped working with one of our top producing radio endorsers,” which was Rush Limbaugh.

A questioner on the call then told Friend that he was “a little surprised that you were caught by surprise by the radio host change ’c

Yeah Right!

ause I know we’ve talked and I guess my impression was that it wouldn’t be that impactful but I guess it was quite impactful.”

Friend responded, “Yeah, I’d say it turned out to be a bigger issue than we had anticipated.”

Friend then, perhaps realizing he made a so-called Kinsley gaffe, said he was not regretful of the decision to drop Limbaugh and then tried to spin away his previous statements, saying, “things would have been worse” had Carbonite not pulled their advertisements from Limbaugh’s show.