Joke of the Day

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Redneck engineering exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a ten pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) ’66 Ford Fairlane b) ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) ’64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of twenty gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is fourteen inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is eight feet and the porch length is sixteen feet. The porch floor is one inch rough-sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man’s land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

Attribution: Fred

About the Common Constitutionalist

Brent, aka The Common Constitutionalist, is a Constitutional Conservative, and advocates for first principles, founders original intent and enemy of progressives. He is former Navy, Martial Arts expert. As well as publisher of the Common Constitutionalist blog, he also is a contributing writer for Political Outcast, Godfather Politics, Minute Men News (Liberty Alliance), Freedom Outpost, the Daily Caller, Vision To America and Free Republic. He also writes an exclusive weekly column for World Net Daily (WND).

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  1. Pingback: Joke of the Day – USSA News | The Tea Party's Front Page

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