A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he’s ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn’t sleep that night. read more
1. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
2. Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? read more
1. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
2. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? read more
1. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”
2. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?” read more
1. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses? read more
1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. read more
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~Alex Levine
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was ‘shut up’.
~Joe Namath read more
Santa Claus has the right idea …
Visit people only once a year.
~Victor Borge
What would men be without women?
Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce.
~Mark Twain read more
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. – Yogi Berra
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot. – Salvador Dali read more
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. – Demetri Martin
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. – Fred Allen
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ – Tommy Cooper read more
