Joke of the Day

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender.

He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.

The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. read more

Joke of the Day

A redneck wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons.

The instructor told the redneck to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord.

The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The redneck understood and was ready.

The time came to have the redneck jump from the air plane. read more

Joke of the Day

A small town prosecutor called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a attractive middle aged lady. He approached her and asked, “Ms. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “I do know you Mr. Leigh. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.” read more

Joke of the Day

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat.

As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head towards him. He’s scared to death, and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast open, revealing its horrific teeth, the atheist screams, “Oh God! Save me!”

In an instant, time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, “You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?” read more

Joke of the Day

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”

“Hans Olaffsen?” he muses. “How in hell does that fit in here?” So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. read more

Joke of the Day

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport.

After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he’d have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. read more